IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global development
moving
Replace the word
moves
show examples
 on, a country can produce and sell the same
products
Use synonyms
 to the world,
thus
Linking Words
 cultivating more similar consumers in different countries. From my personal
piont
Correct your spelling
point
 of view,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive trend to connect people around the world together and to integrate the market all over the world. In terms of the consumers, having the same habits of purchasing the same merchandise shortens the distance
of
Change preposition
between
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 people from different cultures by building up a consensus and sharing similar memories.
For instance
Linking Words
, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different languages, laws, and traditions, barely
no
Correct determiner usage
any
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 children from any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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 can refuse to drink Coke today. When it comes to the advertisements of Coke, every child can
remind
Verb problem
remember
show examples
 the taste of
this
Linking Words
 beverage and
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
 it with a good sweet memory, no matter what nationality they are. The consensus can reduce the communicational friction and be
condusive
Correct your spelling
conducive
 to
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthening
show examples
 the emotional bonds among people globally. As for the enterprises providing the
products
Use synonyms
, countries becoming similar
is
Verb problem
make it
show examples
 easier to integrate the markets in various continents. With the enlargement of the market scale in the
electricity
Replace the word
electric
show examples
 cars,
for instance
Linking Words
, the production can be more efficient
to set
Change preposition
by setting
show examples
 special workers in the assembly lines and
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 the cost at the same time.
This
Linking Words
 expansion will bring more benefits for the companies,
thus
Linking Words
 not only can they pay more tax to the governments, but
also
Linking Words
 can invest more to improve the quality of the
products
Use synonyms
 and reduce greenhouse gases.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
integraty
Correct your spelling
integration
 of the markets helps the companies grow up and the technology
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
beneficail
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to have
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 similar because of the same inclination to buy the same
products
Use synonyms
 to close the distance from heart to heart, and to do the companies a favour to enlarge their production and quality.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the intro and keep one main idea in each paragraph with a simple line to the next idea.
coherence
Use clear link words to connect ideas, like 'and', 'but', 'also', and 'for example'.
examples
Give one strong example for each point and say how it shows your view.
language
Check spelling and grammar to fix small errors that slow reading.
stance
The writer takes a clear side on the topic.
content
The essay uses real life product examples to back a view.
structure
The structure has a basic intro, body and ending.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
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