IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to larg shopping centers or malls to do their shopping . Is this a positive or a negative development?

During recent years, many small local
shops
Use synonyms
 have closed because
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to shop
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 malls and large shopping centres.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the negative impact, as local
shops
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in supporting communities and contributing to the economy. Local
shops
Use synonyms
 give employment, income and vitality to the town
when
Punctuation problem
; when
show examples
 they close,
people
Use synonyms
 lose work
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the town loses its character. Shopping centres can be cheaper and more convenient, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
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 the lives of
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many middle-aged
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to buy goods from local vendors because they are more convenient and affordable. These small stores are often located close to
people
Use synonyms
's doorsteps,
shopping
Correct word choice
while shopping
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 malls are usually on the outskirts, making local
shops
Use synonyms
 more accessible for daily needs. Another disadvantage of small
shops
Use synonyms
 closing is that it reduces the sense of community and local culture. Local vendors often have personal relationships with their customers, offering services and products
according to
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 the community's needs.
In contrast
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, large shopping centres are impersonal, and shopping does not foster interactions between neighbours, friends or small local producers.
For example
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, local bakeries or family-run grocery stores often know their customers by
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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name and provide
personalized
Change the spelling
personalised
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 service, which is lost when the
shops
Use synonyms
 are shut down.
Therefore
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, the decline of local
shops
Use synonyms
 negatively
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 both the social connection and
unique
Correct article usage
the unique
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 character of the towns. In conclusion, the closure
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the small local
shops
Use synonyms
 is largely a
negatie
Correct your spelling
negative
 development. They provide employment, contribute to
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 economy and build personal connections.
While
Linking Words
 large malls may be convenient and affordable, they cannot replace the social and economic benefits offered by small vendors.
Therefore
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, preserving small towns is essential for both the well-being of communities and
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overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 character of the towns.

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strategy
Plan before you write. State your view in one line in the intro and sum up in the conclusion.
content
Give more real and exact examples. Show how local shops help people, not just say they do.
language
Fix spelling and grammar errors and use simple, clear sentences.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, like also, but, and, therefore.
content
The essay shows a clear position and stays on the topic.
organization
Structure is easy to follow with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
Ideas about community and economy are on the right track.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local
  • shop
  • mall
  • town
  • people
  • work
  • job
  • money
  • price
  • cost
  • life
  • business
  • trade
  • community
  • loss
  • gain
  • effect
  • good
  • bad
  • plan
  • policy
  • help
  • support
  • change
  • idea
  • time
  • year
  • law
  • tax
  • buy
  • sell
  • city
  • street
  • market
  • shopper
  • customer
  • centre
  • center
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