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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Happiness is a serious business.
While
Linking Words
 some opine that teenagers are by far the happiest people in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, others argue that adulthood comes with many enjoyable moments.
Nevertheless
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, they are really busy. In my view, the younger the individuals are, the happier they are. On the one hand, experience goes a long way in living happily. When individuals get older, they usually gain a lot of knowledge through experiencing many challenges and difficult moments in all stages of their lives. In
this
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 way, they are aware enough of how to live to enjoy the moments.
In other words
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, they are so experienced that they do not care about some things, which can make them sad, since they strongly believe that happiness is what their lives are all about.
On the other hand
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, there is a definite link between age and experiencing exciting things. To clarify, teenagers have a strong willingness to take risks, because they think that it allows them to make themselves up to maximum happy.
For example
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, I myself, when I was younger, used to try new things, which provided the chance to challenge myself.
This
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 boosted my self-confidence to a great extent and created a great deal of excitement for me. But nowadays, I do not have a tendency to think about taking risks, and it makes me really stressed out.
Hence
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, teenagers are more likely to live happily, since
due to
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 their characteristics, they add some spice into their personal life to keep them motivated to keep going. In conclusion,
although
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 the elderly have more experience to avoid some situations that affect them negatively, it does not necessarily mean their younger counterparts cannot do it. I strongly believe that happiness and living in an exciting way are an inseparable part of the teen years.

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task response
State a clear view at once and keep it in every paragraph.
task response
Make your main points each as a full idea with reasons and simple examples.
coherence
Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and link words to connect ideas.
grammar
Check grammar and use simple, short sentences.
style
Avoid long, odd phrases; keep ideas close to the topic.
structure
Clear position on happiness and use of 'On the one hand / On the other hand' structure.
example
Some personal example shows link to life.
content
Attempts to compare teen and adult happiness.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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