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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Stress
Use synonyms
 is a growing concern for individuals around the world. There are many reasons why
people
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 suffer from
stress
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, including
work
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-related anxiety and family breakdown. There are
also
Linking Words
 effective solutions,
such
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 as
work
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-life balance and seeking professional support. One of the primary causes of
stress
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 arises from the
work
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 environment.
People
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 tend to get stressed from toxic
work
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conditions
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, where the tasks are overloaded , and colleagues are not supportive. A recent study shows that around 40% British
people
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 suffer from anxiety
due to
Linking Words
 staff shortages at
work
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, and are required to perform extra tasks. Another reason for
stress
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 is
breakdown
Correct article usage
the breakdown
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 of
family
Correct article usage
a family
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, where partners deal with constant issues, eventually suffer from mental health illnesses
such
Linking Words
 as depression and
stress
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. Healthcare, in the UK, deals with approximately 33% anxiety and depression patients because of broken family relationships.
Stress
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 is an issue that can lead to many life-threatening diseases , and preventing it from becoming
epidemicis achallenge
Correct your spelling
epidemic is a challenge
 for the government. One way of solving
this
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 issue is by introducing flexible working
conditions
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, where a person decides which days to
work
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 and which to take off.
This
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 method
also
Linking Words
 improves
work
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-life balance, which is the primary reason for family breakdown.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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Research in Japan shows that
people
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 are far more satisfied when they get flexible or remote working
conditions
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. Some stresses are not possible to solve with working
conditions
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, they require
professional's
Correct article usage
a professional's
show examples
 help ,
such
Linking Words
 as
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
-1 physiological session. Some
people
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 suffer from depression because they don't have freedom of speech. But if they get psychological treatment, they open up
,
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apply
show examples
 and can express their feelings.
As a result
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,
people
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 can reduce their level of
stress
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 by having an effective conversation with someone. In Summary,
although
Linking Words
stress
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 has caught up with many individuals in our society, effective and timely help can reduce its level.
While
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 and family issues can increase
stress
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 levels, appropriate working environments and timely psychological support can reduce their impact.

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grammar
Improve your grammar and punctuation to make meaning clear. Fix phrases like 'overloaded , and' to 'overloaded, and', 'epidemicis' to 'epidemic is', and 'professional's help' to 'professional help'.
coherence
Make your ideas clearer with strong topic sentences. Start each paragraph with a point and then give a simple example or reason. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'also', 'however', 'therefore'.
coherence
Be careful with facts. If you mention studies, use correct form: 'A study in the UK shows that...' and avoid too many numbers unless you can quote accurately.
lexical resource
Vocabulary: use common words and avoid many fancy words. Use words like 'stress', 'work', 'family', 'support', 'health', 'balance' consistently. This helps simple and clear meaning.
structure
Structure: include an introduction with a clear view, two body paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a short conclusion.
content
Good attempt to cover causes and solutions and to give examples.
coherence
Some clear sentences when you explain the link between work stress and family stress.
structure
Use of signposting like 'One of the primary causes' and 'In Summary' shows planning.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Burnout
  • Digital detox
  • Mindfulness
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Financial stability
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Resilience training
  • Support networks
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