IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of clothes, car and other items. what are the reasons for this ? do you think it is positive or negative development ?

In modern times, various individuals are experiencing the habit of wanting to buy high-end or popular
trademarks
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brands
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. There are multiple causes for
this
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 situation, and in my opinion, I firmly believe that
this
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 is a negative
matter
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 that affects the
people
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reasons behind
this
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matter
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and why I think it is not positive. On the one hand, the first reason why
people
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 want to buy famous brands is
having
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that they have
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 shopaholic problems. Shopping excessively may help some cope with their feelings,
such
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 as boredom and depression.
Also
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, the impression of needing to satisfy their desires or emotions,
for instance
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, some
people
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 think that by purchasing brands
such
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 as Chanel, Fendi and Prada, they can reach a high status in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society or their work; they feel that the treatment of their coworkers will change. As for the second motive, it is the influence. Younger generations are often affected by
this
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matter
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; there are numerous influencers on trendy platforms,
hence
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 TikTok and Snapchat, that have many fans. Many teenagers think that if their favourite singer owns something, they need to possess it too.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 is definitely a crucial
matter
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 that we need to explain and speak about, because it
holds so
Verb problem
has
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much
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such
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impact
Correct article usage
an impact
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 on the community. It
also
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 involves many issues, and one of them is poor management of the money.
This
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 issue may lead
people
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 to go into debt, because luxury companies may not always be transparent, which means justifying their prices and bad quality.
To conclude
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, there are various causes and motives for
this
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matter
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, and
people
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 need to learn how to manage and save themselves from the financial strains and not fall for the big brands'
scheme
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schemes
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. Customers might assume quality based on the name,
while
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 they fail to recognise the failure and drop
of
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in
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 the materials.

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task response
Plan what you want to say. Start with your view in the first line. Put the reasons in order and keep to one idea in each part.
task response
Give one clear example for each reason and link it to your view.
coherence
Use more sign posts and linking words so the text flows. Use simple yet clear links like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so' and 'in conclusion'.
grammar
Check long sentences and fix grammar. Short sentences are easy to read.
content
The essay gives a clear view: the issue is seen as bad.
content
It uses well known brand names and a real trend from media.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present.
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