IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is thought by some that is better to live in a city while others believe it is better to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is considered by some that urban
life
Use synonyms
 is better than
anywhere
Punctuation problem
anywhere,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 there are others who think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 living in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 is much better. In my opinion, I consider
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
living in the
cities
Use synonyms
 is more reasonable than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that there are more job opportunities in the
cities
Use synonyms
 than the rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 in other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 will not face financial difficulties
,
Punctuation problem
. Therefore
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therefore
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, after they
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
 their university courses, they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 immediately earn money in their professions.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words
 an article which was published by The Oxford University,
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
 rate in the
cities
Use synonyms
 is almost 70% more than it
in
Verb problem
is in
show examples
 the countryside. Another reason to live in the
cities
Use synonyms
 is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some others believe that the facilities are more available in the
cities
Use synonyms
 rather than the countryside,
thus
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,
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to
pass
Verb problem
travel
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long
Correct article usage
a long
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 way to use facilities
such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 hospitals or banks.
On the other hand
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, it is often believed that rural
areas
Use synonyms
 do not have pollution as much as the urban
areas
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will have
healthier
Correct article usage
a healthier
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life
Use synonyms
, since
Punctuation problem
. Since
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 they spend their
life
Use synonyms
 there, they will not face health issues like
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 heart attack or respiratory disease. Despite the lack of job opportunities in the villages, some individuals prefer to have
less
Correct word choice
lower
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 salaries but have
high
Correct word choice
a higher
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 quality
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
of life
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with
Change preposition
by
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 consuming organic
farms
Punctuation problem
farms,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 it almost will
find
Wrong verb form
found
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just
Rephrase
apply
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 may vary in their opinions, I think that living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 is more suitable than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
villages.

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language
Fix grammar and spelling. For example, 'in other word' should be 'in other words' and be careful with capital names.
structure
Make a clear plan before writing: a short intro with your view, two body parts (one for each side), and a short conclusion restating your view.
content
Use real and simple examples that you can explain clearly; avoid vague claims and unverified facts.
language
Check subject-verb agreement and keep phrases simple and easy to read.
task response
You state your view in the intro.
coherence
You show both sides in the body paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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