• Many people argue that fame, rather than social contribution, determines income today. Do you agree or disagree?

nowadays, many
people
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argue that
celebrities
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are paid far too much
money
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and rather than social contrirbution , determines income today it is often argued but celebrity earn
money
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I think
this
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is wrong sing song , actor ,
fame
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they entertainment but hard work
however
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in my opinion
doctor
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,
teacher
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, and market trend , nurse firefighter esential workers and contribute to societyed morever celebrity earn
money
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this
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wrong on the one hand they sing song actor and
fame
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justified by talent
on the other hand
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people
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between
fame
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spark debate
Firstly
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celebrities
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often receive millions of dollars for activitessuch ach acting in single movie , playing in a sports match but
doctor
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teacher
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integrity with make revenue contribute to
society
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job they
teacher
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doctor
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nurse on top of that
this
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clearly demonstrates some
people
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belive that their income is not based on necessary but on popularity , which creates inequality in
society
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and
fame
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earn
money
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this
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wrong because they didn’t contribute to
society
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On the other hand
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,
show examples
some
people
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argue
that
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apply
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that
celebrities
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deserve high salaries because they generate enormous profits for companies and provide entertainment to millions of fans
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for
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, for
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instance
People
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between
fame
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create
imblance
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imbalance
but
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, but
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celebrites
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celebrities
justified
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are justified
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by talent
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;
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however
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however,
show examples
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Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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teacher
Punctuation problem
teacher,
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doctor
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doctors
show examples
nurse
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nurses
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struggle with salaries In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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alough
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although
celebrities
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play an important role in
entertinment
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entertainment
and business, I
srongly
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strongly
belive
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believe
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that they are paid far too much
money
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compared to
prefessionaly shuch
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professionals such
as
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teacher
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teachers
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,
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doctor
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doctors
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, and engineers who provide
esential
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essential
service
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services
show examples
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. Therefore
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therefore
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therefore,
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it is clear that
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society
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should reconsider how income is distributed to ensure fairness and balance

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Say your view in one line, then give 2 or 3 clear points with examples.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar. Use short, simple sentences to avoid mistakes.
vocabulary
Give clear examples that match each idea and link them to your point.
content
The writer shows two sides of the issue.
content
Some points show money and the jobs that give help to people.
content
The text tries to give a view at the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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