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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of travelers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000

The given bar chart illustrates the
number
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 of passengers who choose three major airports in New York
city
Fix capitalization
City
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 to travel over a
period
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 of 5 years, starting from 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
,
altough
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although
 the
number
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 of
traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
travellers
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 who
utelized
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utilised
 LaGaruadi
incread
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increased
 over the
period
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,
thif figer
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the figure
 for other sites fluctuated throughout the
period
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. At the
beginnig
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beginning
 of the
period
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, the
number
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 of people who travelled by
LaGuardi
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LaGuardia
 was well over 30
million
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, and it went up to finish at well over 60
million
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 in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
number
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 for Newark was well over 10
million
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. After that, it continued to increase by 1998.
suprisingly
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Surprisingly
, it levelled off within the next two years,
Turnnig
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Turning
 to another flight, from 1995 to 1997, there was an increase in the
number
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 of individuals who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 by
Johon
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John
 F.
In addition
Linking Words
, within two years later, it followed a
genrally
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generally
 declining trend to just
0ver
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over
 30
million
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, and it finished at 40
million
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, period, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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