IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying the fact that
museums
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 and art galleries have important historical and cultural value.
While
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 some people believe that charging
admission
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 is necessary, others argue that these places should be free for everyone.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, some
museums
Use synonyms
 charge
admission
Use synonyms
fees
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 to support their services and maintain their collections.
In other words
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, running
museums
Use synonyms
 requires money for staff, preservation, and security. By charging visitors,
museums
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 can improve their facilities and protect valuable artworks.
For example
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, famous
museums
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 often use
admission
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fees
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 to organise exhibitions and maintain historical artefacts.
Therefore
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, charging
fees
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 can help
museums
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 continue their important work.
On the other hand
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, charging
admission
Use synonyms
fees
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 may prevent many people from visiting
museums
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 and art galleries. If
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
 is expensive, people with low income may not be able to visit these places.
As a result
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, they may miss the chance to learn about history and culture.
For instance
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, students and families may avoid
museums
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 because of high costs, which can reduce public knowledge and interest in the past. In conclusion,
although
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 charging
admission
Use synonyms
fees
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 has some advantages, I believe that free entry has more benefits for society. Allowing everyone to access
museums
Use synonyms
 helps spread knowledge and preserve cultural awareness for future generations.

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task response
State your position clearly in the intro. Your conclusion is clear, but the opening line could spell out your view more directly.
coherence
Make each main point in the body start with a clear idea sentence, and keep ideas linked to that point.
task response
Use more real life examples or facts to back up the points. This helps the reader see why your view is true.
coherence
Link ideas with better transitions. Use words like also, however, for example, and as a result to guide the reader.
language
Keep a simple and clear style. Use short sentences where possible to stay at a band 6-7 level.
strength
The essay shows a clear view on the issue and ends with a matching conclusion.
strength
There is a clean layout with an intro, body and conclusion.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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