IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe bicycles have a lot of advantages whereas others believe bicycles have more disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 think bicycles have many
advantages
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,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 others might think bicycles
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 are more. Both sides have great opinions, but I believe
if
Correct word choice
that if
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 we compare the
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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, even though there are some
disadvantages
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like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 safety,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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we will see
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
advantages
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 are more,
where
Correct word choice
which
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can improve the rider's
health
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 and
also
Linking Words
 have a good impact on the rider's lifestyle.
Bikes
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 have some
disadvantages
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 from many prespectivs, where it can be really dangerous some times,
also
Linking Words
bikes
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 are not as good as the others transporation,
besides
Linking Words
 weather can make biking harder,
for example
Linking Words
people
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 who use bike daily, like the
people
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 who use it as a transportion way to work they need to check the weather everyday,
also
Linking Words
 rainy weather can be dangerous fir safety matter where it can lead to accidents, so their are some
disadvantages
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, but the
advantages
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 are more. The
advantages
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in
Change preposition
of
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bikes
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 are a lot,
bikes
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 help
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health
Punctuation problem
health,
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 it's a good sport for
people
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 to improve their
health
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,
also
Linking Words
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
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 can
safe
Replace the word
save
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 money, since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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dose
Use the right word
do
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 not require gas,
in
Change preposition
at
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 the same time it's good for the environment, it's
also
Linking Words
 good for traffic,
for example
Linking Words
 Linking Words Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
Use synonyms
people
Fix capitalization
People
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 who use the
bikes
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 for short
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
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 or as a sport can really help in many
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
, like
health
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 or
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traffic, where
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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many modern cities have lines for
bikes
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, to
courge
Correct your spelling
encourage
people
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 and to improve the lifestyle for the individual. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some
disadvantages
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 to bicycles,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can still be good for
people
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, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be useful in many aspects,
such
Linking Words
 as
health
Use synonyms
 and being good for the environment, and
people
Use synonyms
's lifestyle.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear plan: line up intro, two body parts (one for pro, one for con), and a short end.
organization
Make a simple topic sentence for each paragraph and keep one main idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling and use short, plain sentences.
content
Add more real, simple examples about health, money, or safety to back your points.
cohesion
Use linking words like also, but, however, so, because to show how ideas fit together.
content
You write about both sides and give your own view.
cohesion
You try to use joining words to connect ideas.
strength
The topic is easy to see and you give some good ideas for bikes.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bike
  • bicycle
  • good
  • bad
  • health
  • money
  • cheap
  • cost
  • air
  • noise
  • traffic
  • park
  • short
  • trip
  • weather
  • rain
  • hills
  • safety
  • risk
  • crash
  • theft
  • lock
  • repair
  • tires
  • city
  • people
  • work
  • school
  • plan
  • idea
  • solution
  • improve
  • choice
  • benefit
  • problem
  • balance
  • view
  • opinion
  • conclusion
  • share
  • move
  • lanes
  • bike lanes
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