IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People in many countries do not wear their traditional costume. Some argue that they would forget their history and tradition. Do you agree or disagree?

Some equate the absence of national costumes in people's day-to-day attire with a decline in cultural and historical appreciation, and suggest that to reverse the status quo, it is necessary to encourage citizens to wear
such
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 garments on a daily basis. In
this
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 essay, I will challenge the aforementioned perspectives for the following reasons. Admittedly, wearing traditional clothing can be seen as a visible and effective expression of one's respect for their cultural and historical heritage, as it showcases not only the unique cultural elements and historical benchmarks for their own country, but
also
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 the traditional craftsmanship that weaves
such
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 aspects together into national garments.
However
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, it has to be acknowledged that one has several media of expressing pride and appreciation for their cultural and historical roots
while
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 wearing modern, non-traditional clothing.
For example
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, individuals can honour and preserve cultural and historical heritage by taking part in local traditional festivals
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or contributing to national progress through personal efforts.
Therefore
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, it is overly simplistic to assume that abandoning traditional attire in daily life represents a fading appreciation for history and culture. At first glance, the suggestion to encourage people to wear their national costumes every day seems effective.
However
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, in reality, it is far from feasible. To expect everyone to adopt a uniform mode of dressing is to expect a uniform fashion preference that does not exist. An individual's way of expressing - be it sporty, smart casual, or formal - is a form of self-expression, representing their unique personality.
Furthermore
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, most national costumes might not functionally fit modern society's diverse range of activities.
For example
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, it would be highly impractical for a construction worker, a firefighter, or an athlete to wear an ao dai, a kimono, or a hanbok in their day-to-day life. In conclusion,
although
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 traditional clothing can indeed express pride in one's cultural and historical roots, it is neither the most workable or solely way to do so.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first sentence and keep this view in all the essay.
task response
Give one idea per paragraph with a clear topic sentence and a short example.
coherence
Use simple links to show how ideas go with each other.
language use
Break long sentences into small, easy lines and use plain words.
structure
The essay has a clear overall structure: intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The writer argues that daily dress is not the only way to show culture, which is a good point.
coherence
There are some good linking words like 'However' and 'At first glance' used in places.
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