IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As a results of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is an growing demand for more flights. what problems does this have on the environment? what measures could be taken to solve the problem?

These days, there is a growing concern
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 tourism and its
impacts
Use synonyms
 on
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 an increased number of
flight
Fix the agreement mistake
flights
show examples
travels
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
dicusss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 the environmental
impacts
Use synonyms
 caused by
this
Linking Words
 problem
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the most suitable solutions that can be applied are renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 and awareness campaigns. The main environmental impact of
this
Linking Words
 issue is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because the carbon emissions that are released by the natural gases in
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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 significantly
pollutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollute
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 the
air
Use synonyms
, and
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
, which
impacts
Use synonyms
 not only the environment but
also
Linking Words
 causes severe health issues
such
Linking Words
 as asthma and respiratory problems. Another reason is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 emissions
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 have
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 effect on
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 these gases trapped in the atmosphere
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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surge
Correct article usage
a surge
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 in atmospheric heat
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
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 in catastrophic natural events.
For example
Linking Words
, scientists
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been warning about the melting ice in
Correct article usage
the arctic
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arctic
Fix capitalization
Arctic
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 for years, and it may lead to detrimental
impacts
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as cloud
burst
Fix the agreement mistake
bursts
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, floods and heavy rainfall, which are the results of
climatic
Replace the word
climate
show examples
change
Use synonyms
. A viable solution is, the aircraft industries should switch to renewable
energy
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as solar or wind
energy
Use synonyms
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it reduces the carbon emissions into the atmosphere, which will prevent the temperature increase. Another way to deal is
, government
Change preposition
for, government
show examples
 should bring awareness to the public by organising campaigns, and they should educate their residents about the severity of
this
Linking Words
 issue, which requires urgent
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the UN has recently announced that
climate
Use synonyms
 scientists should share their research data and simulations regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 with
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 to provide
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 understanding of what we are going through and to influence the urgency of the situation. In conclusion,
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 and
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 are the major environmental
impacts
Use synonyms
 caused by the tourism industry and the increasing number of
flight
Fix the agreement mistake
flights
show examples
travels
Check wording
apply
show examples
. The most suitable solutions are
everyone
Correct word choice
that everyone
show examples
 should adopt
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 and
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
 educational campaigns to bring more awareness, and to influence the urgency among citizens.

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structure
Use one clear idea in each paragraph and start with a topic sentence.
grammar
Fix basic grammar and sentence form. Check verb use and plural s.
vocabulary
Use only easy words. Limit big words and keep phrases short.
content
Give a strong, clear example for each point and relate it to the problem.
practice
Read aloud and check for long sentences and run-on ideas.
structure
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
content
It shows two big ideas on the problem and on the fix (air pollution, climate change; renew energy, campaigns).
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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