IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think technology development decreases crimes, while others believe it actually encourages crimes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many believe that technological advancement
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 criminal
activities
Punctuation problem
activities,
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whereas
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,
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apply
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 some believe
otherwise
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. I strongly believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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technology
Use synonyms
 has decreased crime by aiding in
capture
Correct article usage
the capture
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 of many
criminals
Punctuation problem
criminals,
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while
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 it is
also
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 true
,
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apply
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 that it has
palyed
Correct your spelling
played
 a major role in pushing people towards unlawful
acts
Use synonyms
. Previously, law enforcers had to pursue a criminal for months to track them down
,
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;
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 with the help of new technologies, it is now done in minutes. Take
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for
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, for
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 example,
whereabouts
Correct article usage
the whereabouts
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 of
fugutive
Correct your spelling
fugitives
 in the old days,
were
Correct pronoun usage
which were
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 gained
on
Change preposition
through
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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word of mouth with few
accuraries
Correct your spelling
accuracies
. Now
with
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, with
show examples
 the device tracking and camera monitoring systems, we can
now
Rephrase
apply
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learn their exact location within moments.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 consistent camera
survillence
Correct your spelling
surveillance
, individuals are now conscious of their actions more than ever. Studies show
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that protection
againist
Correct your spelling
against
 bad
acts
Use synonyms
 has increased over the
last
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 couple of decades, thanks to the upgrade in technological devices.
On the other hand
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,
technology
Use synonyms
 has
also
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 introduced crimes that were not
possibe
Correct your spelling
possible
 before, like cybercrime. These are the
acts
Use synonyms
 that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 taken birth with
technology
Use synonyms
 itself.
For instance
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,
web
Correct article usage
the web
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 has given access to personal information on people,
thus
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 resulting
web
Change preposition
in web
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thefts
Fix the agreement mistake
theft
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.
Moreover
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, young girls looking for online
frineds
Correct your spelling
friends
 fall
vitim
Correct your spelling
victim
 to deceptive men, predisposing them to unsettling circumstances. All these criminal
acts
Use synonyms
 could have been avoided if not for the increase in technological knowledge. In conclusion, I believe that our growth in
technology
Use synonyms
 has helped us to bring down the crime
rate
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rate,
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although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 it
undeniable
Verb problem
is undeniable
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 that many nuances have
also
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 been discovered
due to
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technology
Use synonyms
. If we could create a system that limits public access to the
world wide web
Fix capitalization
World Wide Web
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, we could use our
knowedge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 of electronics and science to make
this
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 world a much safer habitat.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Use a short plan with 4 parts: intro, two body parts for both sides, and a short ending.
content
Give clear facts or real examples to back each view. Use simple, true ideas you know.
language
Check your spell and grammar. Fix common errors and use the right form of words.
content
You show the idea that tech can help catch criminals using cameras and tracking.
organization
You try to give a view of both sides and end with your own view.
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