IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In most countries, prison is an effective solution for the problem of crime. Some people think a more effective solution is to provide a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For most of the nations, putting the criminal in
prison
Use synonyms
 is the main punishment for those who did serious
crime
Use synonyms
. The public may think
this
Linking Words
 is the best way to deter
crime
Use synonyms
, and can ensure the safety of the citizen. But I assure
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better way to decrease the
re-offended
Use the right word
re-offending
show examples
 rate, there are some reasons to support my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 programs have the potential to make people better citizens. Some
prison
Use synonyms
 will arrange some psyco-social courses for criminals. The aim is to let them
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 worst
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will cause some kind of negative effect on society, including their family.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teaching some positive problem solving and relaxation methods, decreasing the opportunity for impulsive
crime
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I think many criminal problems are origin in lack of meaning of life and poverty. In some countries, occupational therapists are part of
prison
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 work. The therapist will have discussions with prisoners to
analyze
Change the spelling
analyse
show examples
 every aspect of their life, list the
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it and find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solutions to redesign their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. If needed, they can have the training of developing working skills to strengthen the ability to be employed after being released from
prison
Use synonyms
. That can build a
comparely
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 healthy daily routine and solve the problems of poverty, to fundamentally lower the recidivism rate. In Nordic countries, they
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 rather than harsh punishment, and that leads to the steady low
re-offend
Use the right word
re-offending
show examples
 rate. In summary, I believe
education
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 useful and positive way to fix the issue of
crime
Use synonyms
.

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content
Shows a clear view that education can help, not just prison.
content
Uses some real ideas about prison work and Nordic countries.
conclusion
Ends with a clear summary of the writer's view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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