IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane . Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevemt

The given diagram depicts the procedure of
sugar
Use synonyms
 preparation from
sugarcane
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are seven stages in
this
Linking Words
 manufacturing process
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 commence with
plantation
Correct article usage
the plantation
show examples
 of
sugarcane
Use synonyms
 and end with
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
 storing of prepared
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
,
sugarcane
Use synonyms
 is grown for over 12-18 months time span.
Then
Linking Words
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is harvested either
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
manually or mechanically, using harvesting vehicles.
Next,
Linking Words
in the third stage,
sugarcanes
Use the right word
sugar canes
show examples
 are crushed with machines to obtain
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 juice.
Afterthat
Correct your spelling
After that
,
sugarcane
Use synonyms
 juice is purified using the funnel
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is consisted
Wrong verb form
consists
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 limestone filters. In the next step,
evaporation
Correct article usage
the evaporation
show examples
 process is done
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 heating the juice to transform its consistency to a syrup form. Later, the syrup is kept in a
circular shaped
Use the right word
circular-shaped
show examples
 centrifuge machine to separate its
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals.
Finally
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
 is stored in a lid-opened cylindrical basket and left
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for drying
Change preposition
to dry
show examples
 and
cooling
Wrong verb form
cool
show examples
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, sugarcane with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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