The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

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The three pie charts provide information about
players
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of electronic
games
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in South Korea in 2003.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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action-based electronic
games
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were the most popular, and that the proportion of male
players
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was considerably higher than that of female
players
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. Looking at the age distribution, the largest group of
players
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was aged 18-36, accounting for 38% of all
players
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in South Korea.
In contrast
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, those under 18 made up about 23%,
while
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players
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over 36 represented approximately 39%. Regarding the types of
games
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, action
games
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were the most popular, at around 43%. Sports
games
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were the second most played, accounting for 20%, slightly more than racing
games
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, which made up 17%.
In addition
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, the figure for educational
games
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and role-playing
games
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was equally popular, each representing about 7% of participants.
Finally
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, in terms of gender, male
players
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dominated the gaming population, making up approximately 72%,
whereas
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female
players
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represented only 28%.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words players, games with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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