IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Task description It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write a minimum of 150 words.

Task answer It is widely agreed that regular physical activity is essential for
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
 and mental development of children and youngsters. Because of
this
Linking Words
 reason, some people believe that all
schools
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 should include physical
education
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 as a part of their curriculum. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, as structured physical activity might benefit some young people, but making it
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mandatory may not be required in all cases. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, compulsory physical
education
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 at school age has significant advantages. Being physically active will strengthen
cardio vascular
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cardiovascular
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 systems and
reduces
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduce
show examples
lifestyle related
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lifestyle-related
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 illnesses. Regular exercise will help maintain focus and concentration
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 fosters not only physical health but
also
Linking Words
 academic performance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, active participation in sports will encourage
students
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 in
team building
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team-building
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 activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, being an active member in school sports clubs will improve leadership skills and will
also
Linking Words
 have a positive impact on
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 social development.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, enforcing physical
education
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 will not show positive results in all cases. Not all children have
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 physical ability, and making it compulsory to enrol in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 physical training programmes might create challenges for certain
students
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
schools
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 can have
students
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 with physical and mental disabilities and other
health related
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health-related
show examples
 issues. Pressurising
such
Linking Words
students
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 to
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 amount of physical activity
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 normal
students
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 will show severe negative impacts. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 physical
education
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 has major benefits,
schools
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 should be flexible in how
students
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 fulfil
this
Linking Words
 requirement. The structure should include a variety of activities, and
customized
Change the spelling
customised
show examples
 training programs
differentiating
Punctuation problem
, differentiating
show examples
 them based on
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of physical involvement required. In conclusion,
instead
Linking Words
 of enforcing a strict physical
education
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 policy,
schools
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 should think of planning a balanced a flexible approach which can encourage
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation to have healthy
life styles
Use the right word
lifestyles
show examples
.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in the last.
task response
Give 2 or 3 strong reasons and a counter idea, with a simple example.
coherence
Link ideas with clear words like 'also', 'in addition', 'however', 'therefore'.
grammar
Check small grammar and spelling errors, e.g., 'enrol' vs 'enroll', 'pressurising'.
content
Add one more specific example from school life or home to support points.
content
Shows a fair idea by giving both good and bad sides.
structure
Has a clear start and end with a closing idea.
content
Uses some good examples to back up points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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