IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries, more money is spent on transport system in the cities. In contrast, very little is spent in rural areas. What are the effects of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

There is no doubt that
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
show examples
 system in the cities
earn
Correct subject-verb agreement
earns
show examples
money more
Correct word order
more money
show examples
 than
rural
Change preposition
in rural
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the effects and what can be done to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. In terms of advantages, many people can get a job in the
city
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, in rural
areas
Use synonyms
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no
opprtunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
. To illustrate,
Bus
Use synonyms
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 because
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can earn money
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 when
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in rural
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
area
Punctuation problem
area,
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can not earn money.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 in
Fix capitalization
Japan
show examples
japan
Punctuation problem
japan,
show examples
 people in proportion 80% prefer the
bus
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in
tyhe
Correct your spelling
the
 rural
area
Use synonyms
 they prefer cars.
However
Linking Words
, companies will make
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 profit in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they will lose in rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, because in rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 they almost use traditional things,
Linking Words
For
Fix capitalization
for
show examples
 example, horses or
donkies
Correct your spelling
donkeys
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in cities the transport will be expensive
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
However
Fix capitalization
however
show examples
, in rural
areas
Use synonyms
will
Correct pronoun usage
it will
show examples
 be cheap. In other
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
word
Punctuation problem
word,
show examples
 when you want to go to
work
Use synonyms
 by
bus
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 will cost 5 dollars
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
rural
Correct article usage
a rural
show examples
Use synonyms
area
Add a comma
area,
show examples
 it will cost 1 dollar
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is a big difference
of
Use the right word
if
show examples
 you
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
go
every day to
Correct word order
to work every day
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when the
bus
Use synonyms
 or train is
crowded
Punctuation problem
crowded,
show examples
 that will
be not
Correct word order
not be
show examples
 good for the
humen
Correct your spelling
humans
 because
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will share diseases and
will
Correct pronoun usage
it will
show examples
 be a huge issue. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer the
buss
Use the right word
buses
show examples
 in cities
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
However
Fix capitalization
however
show examples
, the cars in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the companies can make
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 in the
city
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your writing. Start with a short intro, then 2 or 3 clear body parts, and a short end.
cohesion
Use small linking words to show how ideas fit, like 'also', 'but', 'so'.
content
Explain the effects clearly first, then give ways to fix them. Make the ideas simple and easy to see.
language
Check spelling and use easy verbs. Make sure every sentence is easy to read.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides: effects and fixes.
content
Some examples are used to show the idea.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • money
  • spend
  • city
  • rural
  • transport
  • bus
  • train
  • car
  • walk
  • ride
  • link
  • access
  • job
  • school
  • hospital
  • time
  • cost
  • plan
  • policy
  • fund
  • budget
  • fairness
  • equality
  • improve
  • better
  • route
  • schedule
  • service
  • maintenance
  • population
  • growth
  • decline
  • pollution
  • climate
  • energy
  • subsidy
  • tax
  • economy
  • life
  • move
  • away
What to do next:
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