IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern technology is being used more and more in different aspects of our live, such as education. Do the advantages of using technology as an educational tool outweigh its disadvantages?

Squabbling on the impact of new technology on our study methods is interminable in
todays aeon
Check wording
today's era
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.
This
Linking Words
 monograph will not only weigh up the merits and demerits of technology as an educational tool but
also
Linking Words
 elucidate why I think benefits
overshadow
Verb problem
outweigh
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 setbacks
along with
Linking Words
befitting
Correct article usage
a befitting
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 paradigm. Agreeing with the meritorious side,
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and easy learning is the foremost plus.
Tech
Correct article usage
The tech
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 era
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it approachable to learn the topic in any language. A paragon of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen among international students that
how
Correct word choice
who
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are learning the difficult aspects with the assistance of
translating
Replace the word
translation
show examples
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
. Cost and time saving can be another positive outlook. If
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to traditional methods, nowadays, there is no need to buy books from
market
Correct article usage
the market
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.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it easy to search a
key word
Use the right word
keyword
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 on
web
Correct article usage
the web
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 and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 topic with
history
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historical information
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 available
unpaid
Correct word choice
for free
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.
Also
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, visual and audio explanations can be seen on applications
such
Linking Words
 as
Youtube
Use the right word
YouTube
show examples
 and Wikipedia.
By contrast
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, power outage and
disable
Replace the word
disabled
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 network connection are observed to be its biggest threats. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 nothing is possible without
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good speed connectivity. Pointing
another
Change preposition
to another
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 obstruction related to the notion is weak eyesight
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 other health problems can not be ignored. A
felicitious
Correct your spelling
felicitous
 instance for
this
Linking Words
 is
comparison
Correct article usage
the comparison
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 between
Correct article usage
the tweentith
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tweentith centuary
Correct your spelling
twentieth century
 and Generation Z. Teenagers
facing
Verb problem
are facing
show examples
 more health issues
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of kids
using
Verb problem
are using
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 vision correction glasses. To synopsize the main propositions
Linking Words
although
Punctuation problem
, although
show examples
 there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 obstacles related to
new
Correct article usage
the new
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eppoach
Correct your spelling
approach
. But, I firmly think the bright aspects
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as language barriers
preponderant
Punctuation problem
, preponderant
show examples
 the minor dark areas.

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structure
The essay has a clear view, but the plan is rough. Add a short outline at the start and a brief summary at the end.
language
Use only simple words and short sentences. Many long phrases make it hard to read. Break ideas into small, clear chunks.
content
Give more real examples or facts to back up points about learning improvements and health effects.
accuracy
Check spelling and punctuation. Some words are misspelled and this distracts the reader.
content
The writer has a clear opinion that benefits may outweigh drawbacks.
language/ideas
There are good ideas about tech helping language learning and quick information search.
structure
Some paragraphs cover advantages and disadvantages, showing balance.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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