IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of tourists in three nations who travel to Australia in 2005 and 2015. The graph below shows the number of tourists who use two types for holiday. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar and line graphs depict the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors to Australia from three given countries between 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 to Australia among all the given countries was reported in 2015, with the exception of visitors from Japan. Meanwhile, the total
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
 backpackers showed a significant rise during the period,
while
Linking Words
 people who stayed in
resort
Fix the agreement mistake
resorts
show examples
 reported fluctuations over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time. In 2005, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 to Australia was recorded by Japan, which stood at 1,500,000. Notably, the lowest figure was shown in the United States, which totalled 500,000, and was 300,000 less than that in the United Kingdom.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is evident that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 both the UK and the US exhibited a similar figure in 2015, each totalling 1,500,000.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 from Japan was reduced by 500,000, compared to its
intial
Correct your spelling
initial
 year. In terms of holiday types, the
number
Use synonyms
 of sight-seers who prefer backpacking
was
Verb problem
apply
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steadily increased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, which peaked at nearly 1
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 250
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 000
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 by 2015.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
tourists
Use synonyms
 who chose to stay in resorts
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 nearly 1,750,000 in 2005.
However
Linking Words
, after reaching a high point
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 2
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 500,000, it gradually declined to converged to the same figure of backpackers in 2015.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tourists with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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