IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles price. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that increasing the price of gas and automobiles is an effective method to resolve environmental problems. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
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 statement because
such
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 measures influence temporary solutions.
However
Linking Words
, there are other effective measures in order to solve
this
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 issue permanently,
such
Linking Words
 as imposing a carbon tax and reliable public
transport
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, increasing the cost of fuel and
vehicles
Use synonyms
 deters
people
Use synonyms
 from using cars. If the fee is increased, proponents cannot spend a fortune on their commute, which leads to a reduction in the number of personal
vehicles
Use synonyms
 on the road.
As a result
Linking Words
, harmful gas emissions from
such
Linking Words
vehicles
Use synonyms
 are significantly controlled, which prevents the environment from being polluted.
For example
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, in
western
Fix capitalization
Western
show examples
 countries, petrol
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and diesel prices are very high, thereby public
transport
Use synonyms
 is considered to be the primary means of
transport
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 for many commuters.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 solution still did not solve the environmental concerns ,
such
Linking Words
 as pollution or climate change.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are other effective solutions
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as imposing
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
, improving the efficiency of trains, and buses.
This
Linking Words
 means that if governments impose taxes for the carbon footprint, refrain citizens from using their personal
vehicles
Use synonyms
. By doing
this
Linking Words
, it encourages folks to be more responsible in protecting the environment.
In addition
Linking Words
, governments should invest in improving the reliability of public
transport
Use synonyms
, as it is the main cause of increasing dependency on private cars.
For instance
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, even though fuel prices are high in Western countries,
people
Use synonyms
 prioritise using trains
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and buses because they are affordable, reliable, and really comfortable for travellers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is evident that taking
such
Linking Words
 permanent measures will significantly reduce the environmental issues. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that increasing the price of fuel and cars will reduce environmental trouble. In my opinion, I strongly agree that alternative methods bring effective solutions in terms of solving the question permanently by implementing carbon taxes and developing the public transportation systems.

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Task response
Be clear about your view and keep it the same from start to end.
Coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas and make the flow smooth.
Language accuracy
Check grammar and punctuation, like space after commas and smaller errors.
Examples
Give a simple, concrete example and explain how it backs your point.
Content
Avoid repeating the same idea and check that your argument stays on one path.
Idea
The essay shows a clear view on the topic.
Structure
Two main ideas are given and some proof is used.
Content
There are some good efforts to add evidence.
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