IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Fast-paced modern lifestyles have led to people eating more and more fast food at the expense of more traditional meals. Do the advantages of eating more fast food outweigh the disadvantages?

Currently, the contemporary living patterns of most
people
Use synonyms
 are defined by a
time
Use synonyms
 scarcity.
However
Linking Words
, the convenience-oriented
food
Use synonyms
 is talked about by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who have a short
time
Use synonyms
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 case it makes traditional consumption patterns deteriorate
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the contemporary era.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the Era lifestyles depend on convenience &
time
Use synonyms
 efficiency for the population who have an accelerated pace of life. Following
with
Change preposition
apply
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the convenience of rapid
foods
Use synonyms
 for employees in the office, who have limited
time
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 to prepare
food
Use synonyms
 by themselves. It is the best choice to select faster
foods
Use synonyms
 for busy periods.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, economic and accessibility benefits
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as modern
lifestyles
Punctuation problem
lifestyles,
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 are built up by fast
food
Use synonyms
 businesses.
Also
Linking Words
, it makes fast
food
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 companies
increase
Verb problem
grow
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 faster in the current climate.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 consequences of convenience
foods
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 eaten by
people
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 in a rush, who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 little
time
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, are effectively directed to certain
health
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 and malnutrition diseases.
As a result
Linking Words
, it makes
health
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 lack effective
foods
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 and essential
nutrition
Replace the word
nutrients
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 for developing bodies. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 the important part Cultural and social impact
Fast
Change preposition
of Fast
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 reshapes culture by replacing traditional family meals with quick, convenient options, altering social bonds and family dynamics, and promoting instant gratification over shared dining. Socially, it fosters a culture of speed, influences youth
socialization
Change the spelling
socialisation
show examples
 (e.g., bonding over takeaways), but
also
Linking Words
 raises concerns about homogenization,
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 exploitation, and replacing local
food
Use synonyms
 systems with
globalized
Change the spelling
globalised
show examples
, often unhealthy, alternatives,
while
Linking Words
 being linked to rising obesity rates and changing work patterns. In conclusion, I have a disadvantage currently; the population who have eaten fast
foods
Use synonyms
 as well certainly have a direct effect on their
health
Use synonyms
 more than the
people
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 who eat healthy
foods
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. Convenient
foods
Use synonyms
 affect
people
Use synonyms
's lack of nutritional deficiency.

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content
Make your view clear. Say if fast food has more good points than bad, or the other way is true. Then talk more about both sides, not just one.
structure
Use a clear plan. Start with a short introduction that says what you will talk about. Use a map sentence for the body. End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
cohesion
Each paragraph should have one main idea. Use topic sentences to show what the paragraph will say. Use simple linking words to hold ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'so', 'therefore'.
content
The writer shows some good thoughts about health and how fast food affects people.
content
The essay mentions a range of ideas such as health, culture, and money of fast food firms.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-efficient
  • quick service
  • economical
  • cost-effective
  • diversity of cuisine
  • flavorful
  • nutritional deficit
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • cultural erosion
  • packaging waste
  • ecological footprint
  • family dynamics
  • healthier alternatives
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • traditional meals
  • take-out culture
  • trans fat content
  • caloric intake
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