IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too aluable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
Linking Words
 topic, it’s about the conflict between public
interest
Use synonyms
 and private
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
. For someone
kindly
Punctuation problem
, kindly
show examples
 share the
compherhensive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
information
Use synonyms
 about
them self
Use the right word
themselves
show examples
,it
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 help
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the
data bases
Use the right word
databases
show examples
 for researchers to
welling
Replace the word
better
show examples
 understand all
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
 and have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 specific way to be
recode
Wrong verb form
recoded
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 improve all
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 for the public
interest
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 others point of view,
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 more personal
information
Use synonyms
 means
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 themself
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risk of
over exposure
Use the right word
overexposure
show examples
under
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the public,
especailly
Correct your spelling
especially
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the generation of high technology
,it’s
Punctuation problem
. It’s
show examples
quit
Use the right word
quite
show examples
easy to
image
Replace the word
imagine
show examples
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 you expose more
information
Use synonyms
 to other ,the more easier
link
Verb problem
to link
show examples
 your personal
information
Use synonyms
just
Change preposition
with just
show examples
 in few details. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
,to protect personal data for privacy is really important,
otherwise
Linking Words
 we will never know our data will be used by who, how and when. And it’s the
prerequesties
Correct your spelling
prerequisites
 for the public
interest
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , the health insurance agency in Taiwan would like to use our medical
record
Fix the agreement mistake
records
show examples
 freely ,but
still
Verb problem
is still
show examples
to be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 claim
unconstitutional
Change preposition
as unconstitutional
show examples
 by
jury
Correct article usage
the jury
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
 shows privacy is
impotent
Use the right word
important
show examples
 than public
interest
Use synonyms
 .
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, disclosure
personal
Change preposition
of personal
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 detailing is beneficial for public
interest
Use synonyms
,so I
Verb problem
am
show examples
still willing to share personal
information
Use synonyms
 under the circumstances that
be
Wrong verb form
it is
show examples
 de-identified ,in that case can
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
balance
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these two important
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
.

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planning
Plan your essay first. Say your view in the intro, then 2-3 ideas to explain, and finish with a clear ending that agrees with your view.
language
Use simple grammar and clear links. Use words like however, also, and for example to show how ideas are linked.
content
Give clear examples that fit the idea you say. Do not use hard words or too long notes.
structure
Make a short, clear ending that restates your view.
content
The writer shows an attempt to talk about both sides.
structure
There are some links between ideas.
content
A real world example is used to show relevance.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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