IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree?

It is considered by some
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that
standard
Correct article usage
the standard
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work
Use synonyms
 week should be shorter
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 employees should have a longer holiday. In my opinion, I agree
,
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apply
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 that
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 weekend could reduce
workers
Check wording
workers'
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stress
Use synonyms
 and have a positive impact.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
minimizing
Change the spelling
minimising
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 working
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
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 anxiety
,
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apply
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 and
stress
Use synonyms
 could be possible by lowering the working
hours
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, with the help of limiting office
hours
Use synonyms
, individuals have more time to
have
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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rest or holiday, and it can be available for them to spend their quality time with their loved ones
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 issue
put
Verb problem
takes
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 the job pressure off workers
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 their
stress
Use synonyms
 level will decrease
and
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, and
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 they can follow their unfinished
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 more peacefully. Another point to consider is that
,
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apply
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 the lower
hours
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 of
work
Use synonyms
,
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apply
show examples
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
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people
Use synonyms
 the chance of having
the
Correct article usage
a
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second job. To
further
Linking Words
 clarify, housing, purchasing daily essentials and having a
high quality
Use the right word
high-quality
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 life have become extremely difficult
due to
Linking Words
 inflation
Punctuation problem
, specially
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specially
Use the right word
especially
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 for those
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 who live in poverty
, more
Punctuation problem
. More
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 and more
people
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 are interested
to have
Change preposition
in having
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 part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 reduced working
hours
Use synonyms
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
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 them the opportunity to
work
Use synonyms
elsewhere
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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people
Use synonyms
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 make more money in order to cover their living costs.
Finally
Linking Words
, if the weekly working
hours
Use synonyms
 become shorter, the productivity of employees will increase. To put it
in other words
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
work
Use synonyms
 productivity depends on greater concentration of staff on performing their responsibilities.
so
Fix capitalization
So
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having
Punctuation problem
, having
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 more free time
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 lower tiring
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they can focus on their tasks more efficiently
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 a
result
Punctuation problem
result,
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 profits will improve. In conclusion, I consider that weekly working
hours
Use synonyms
 ought to be lowered to decrease
stress
Use synonyms
 levels.

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Development
Make a clear idea in each paragraph and add a simple example to back it up.
Structure
Use short, clear sentences. Do not run ideas in one long line.
Coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas join, like first, also, however, finally.
Grammar
Check grammar and use proper tense and form.
Conclusion
End with a short recap of your point.
Structure
Clear plan with intro, body and conclusion
Ideas
Lays out points on stress, money, and work
Coherence
Uses linking words to guide reader
Content
Topic is useful to readers
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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