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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the changes of a town called Bridgetown in 1700 and 2000.

The maps illustrate the transformation of a
town
Use synonyms
 called Bridgetown between 1700 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the layout of the
town
Use synonyms
 has undergone significant changes, with several areas being repurposed.
While
Linking Words
 the number of original facilities has remained relatively consistent, there has been a clear shift from traditional
Use synonyms
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
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 to more accessible and modern
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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, creating a visitor-oriented
area
Use synonyms
. In 1700, the layout of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Bridgetown
was
Verb problem
apply
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consisted of large farmland and few amenities. There was a river in the middle of the
area
Use synonyms
, with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 bridge constructed to cross it, leading directly to the road. To the left of the river was
castle
Correct article usage
a castle
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, adjacent to which was a
market place
Use the right word
marketplace
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 situated nearby to the east side of the road.
While
Linking Words
 the woodland
positioned
Verb problem
is positioned
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 on the left-top corner of the
town
Use synonyms
, the farmland
located
Verb problem
is located
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 on the other side. By 2000,
while
Linking Words
 some of the original facilities had largely remained intact,
such
Linking Words
 as
bridge
Correct article usage
the bridge
show examples
 and marketplace, other areas
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 undergone significant changes. School had been introduced, which occupied the
area
Use synonyms
 where the castle used to be. The next alteration was the introduction railway, which resulted in the disappearance of some part of the farmland. Buildup areas had
also
Linking Words
 been introduced, covered by
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 bypass

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words town, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • residential area
  • commercial district
  • land use
  • expansion
  • transformation
  • modernization
  • industrial
  • recreational facilities
  • housing development
  • transportation networks
  • demolished
  • constructed
  • preserved
  • evolution
  • adaptation
  • architectural styles
  • cityscape
  • historical preservation
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