Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
public must have access to hospitals for free, despite the fact that some services are too expensive and citizens should pay for them.
This
Linking Words
essay,
however
Linking Words
, partly agrees
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
notion. On one hand, in different communities, there are individuals with poor backgrounds. They sometimes struggle to fend for their families. Asking
such
Linking Words
people to pay for hospital bills
maybe
Use the right word
may
show examples
be seen
unfair
Change preposition
as unfair
show examples
. Certain studies note that, in most developing countries, citizens avoid going to the doctors when feeling unwell because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
consultation fees they cannot afford.
Instead
Linking Words
, they use traditional medicine and herbs
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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they
overdose sometimes
Correct word order
sometimes overdose
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.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
This
Linking Words
leads to more complications and in worst scenarios death.
Thus
Linking Words
, free access to health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
must be legalised
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to save
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
of those who
do not
Verb problem
cannot
show examples
afford
.
Correct pronoun usage
them.
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think that a small fee must be paid by everyone when visiting
doctors
Punctuation problem
doctors,
show examples
inspite
Correct your spelling
regardless
of their background.
This
Linking Words
is because some medicines and machines needed for other treatments are too expensive. If people pay,
then
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
clinics and hospitals may be able to upgrade their standards and purchase
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
equipment to treat certain diseases.
For instance
Linking Words
, most private hospitals are too expensive
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
they have
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
machines needed for treating their clients.
Therefore
Linking Words
, paying a small fee may help to develop health services,
hence
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, give patients good service. In conclusion, paying nothing to consult doctors may benefit patients without money
thereby
Punctuation problem
, thereby
show examples
limiting cases of premature deaths.
However
Linking Words
, paying a small fee might help health departments in purchasing
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
machinery
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
could help to treat the general public.

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planning
Plan first. Decide your view and write a clear plan with 4 parts: intro, two sides, and conclusion.
grammar
Keep sentences short. One idea per sentence. This helps with meaning.
coherence
Use simple joining words to show links: first, also, but, however, for example, in addition.
content
Give more exact examples to back points. Make them easy to see for the reader.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. For example, 'inspite' should be 'in spite of'.
vocabulary/structure
Use basic words and short phrases. Do not make long, hard sentences.
stance
The writer states a position and partly keeps it through the essay.
content
Clear attempt to discuss both sides and give reasons.
coherence
Some linking words are used to connect ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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