IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel tor a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In recent years,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 encouraged to
work
Use synonyms
 or
travel
Use synonyms
 before entering higher education
studies
Use synonyms
. Some argue that
this
Linking Words
 is not beneficial for
further
Linking Words
studies
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
ohters
Correct your spelling
others
 believe
this
Linking Words
 can help young people
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 their
future
Use synonyms
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
 clearly. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue. On one hand, some people believe that
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 or
travel
Use synonyms
 after
graduate
Replace the word
graduating
show examples
 from high school immediately is
symbolize
Verb problem
symbolises
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a negative
appearance
Check wording
impact
show examples
 on
acadamic
Correct your spelling
academic
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. And it
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
Correct article usage
a signicificantly
show examples
signicificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 bad
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
 on
further
Linking Words
 education.
For example
Linking Words
, students who choose to
work
Use synonyms
 or
travel
Use synonyms
 first will place more importance on their current job or trip
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 plan for their
future
Use synonyms
 goals, and it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
Correct article usage
a stongly
show examples
stongly
Correct your spelling
strongly
bad
Correct word choice
negative
show examples
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 young individuals .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some benefits for young individuals. One of the primary
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 is that it can help young community decide their
future
Use synonyms
 major at universities.
This
Linking Words
 is because they have been
enter
Wrong verb form
entered
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as a adult person
first,
Linking Words
they already have some experiences on their own. By
this
Linking Words
, they can understand what they want for
further
Linking Words
studies
Use synonyms
 and make a
choice
Correct word choice
smart choice
show examples
smartly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 the
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
 more clearly than those who never leave the route
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education because they
already
Verb problem
have already
show examples
underwent
Verb problem
taken
show examples
 the different route, they
knew
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 what they want specifically. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 both advantages and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 on
this
Linking Words
 issue. Some individuals believe that it is beneficial for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation to plan their
future
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, others think it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them. I believe that off to
work
Use synonyms
 or
travel
Use synonyms
 after
graduate
Replace the word
graduating
show examples
 from high school can boost
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 ability and help them make
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 perfect choice for their
future
Use synonyms
studies
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear map. Use one idea per paragraph and give it a short intro and a short end.
coherence
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep it in mind as you write.
content
Give real examples or facts to back up your points.
language
Check spell and grammar. Fix wrong words and bad spellings.
coherence
Use link words to show links between ideas, such as 'but', 'also', 'however', 'then'.
idea
The essay begins to look at both sides of the issue.
content
It gives reasons why work or travel may help some students.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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