Some people believe that happiness mainly comes from external factors, while others think it is determined by internal factors.

In the modern world,

people

Use synonyms

have busy lives. The percentage of

people

Use synonyms

with mental health issues is

increasing

Punctuation problem

increasing,

show examples

caused by several

factors

Use synonyms

. Recently,

happiness

Use synonyms

levels

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

decreasing noticeably.

However

Linking Words

, there are some external

factors

Use synonyms

which create

happiness

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will argue that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

can be affected by various external

factors

Use synonyms

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

socializing

Change the spelling

socialising

show examples

and positive

habits

Use synonyms

. One main external factor that creates

happiness

Use synonyms

socializing

Change the spelling

socialising

show examples

with others.

This

Linking Words

is because when a

person

Use synonyms

interacts with other

people

Use synonyms

in a relaxed environment, they feel connected and can share their thoughts & feelings with others, which feels good.

For

Linking Words

example

Use synonyms

, special events

such

Linking Words

as parties can cause a

person

Use synonyms

to feel happy. At a party,

people

Use synonyms

like to have fun by eating good food, listening to music, or sometimes dancing. These activities help a

person

Use synonyms

to release stress and receive positive energy from other

people

Use synonyms

at the party.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a

person

Use synonyms

can make new friends at a party, which leads to the

person

Use synonyms

feeling more connected. Another social event that can increase levels of

happiness

Use synonyms

is family gatherings.

For

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example

Use synonyms

, many relatives might get together to celebrate a special cultural

day

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as Australia

Day

Use synonyms

or New Year. At

this

Linking Words

time,

people

Use synonyms

enjoy seeing family members

who

Correct pronoun usage

whom

show examples

they might not see often, and can talk, laugh and eat delicious food together.

In addition

Linking Words

, sometimes they receive gifts, which can make a

person

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happy. Another main external factor that develops

happiness

Use synonyms

is building positive

habits

Use synonyms

over time.

This

Linking Words

means that when individuals

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

tend to try a new

Check wording

habit or

show examples

modify

habit

Check wording

an existing one

show examples

, they will find themselves feeling happier than ever.

For

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example

Use synonyms

, regularly

exercises

Wrong verb form

exercising

show examples

such

Linking Words

as walking,

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

out at the gym, and

wake

Wrong verb form

waking

show examples

up early every morning.

This

Linking Words

commitment to doing these

habits

Use synonyms

every

day

Use synonyms

will lead to extreme

happiness

Use synonyms

. As

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

result

Punctuation problem

result,

show examples

when

people

Use synonyms

are committing, they will satisfy themselves.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, good financial

habits

Use synonyms

have numerous impacts on

happiness

Use synonyms

as well.

For

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example

Use synonyms

, being careful with money and saving it can help

people

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live their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

without any financial pressure;

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, if wealthy

people

Use synonyms

feel tired from work, they will take a holiday immediately.

In contrast

Linking Words

, poor

people

Use synonyms

who waste their money on things like gambling or new goods have to work every

day

Use synonyms

and ignore their

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

about what they are doing.

In addition

Linking Words

, positive environmental

habits

Use synonyms

have a significant impact on

happiness

Use synonyms

because usually

people

Use synonyms

influenced

Verb problem

are influenced

show examples

by the atmosphere that

surrounding

Wrong verb form

surrounds

show examples

them

Punctuation problem

them,

show examples

whether it is positive or negative.

For

Linking Words

example

Use synonyms

, a

person

Use synonyms

who recycles things or plants trees and vegetables can feel happy about protecting and helping the earth. In conclusion, it can be argued that

happiness

Use synonyms

is mostly created externally from experiences in life. The two main external

factors

Use synonyms

that lead to

happiness

Use synonyms

are

socializing

Change the spelling

socialising

show examples

and positive

habits

Use synonyms

eng.a.khazim

Jan 6, 2026

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task

Add the other side. Talk how inner thoughts or mood can also make a person happy. show both sides of the idea.

structure

Be clear in the plan. State your view in the intro, then give two or three clear ideas in order in the body, and finish with a short wrap.

grammar

Fix bad mistakes. Some long or odd sentences. Use short, clear lines. check small grammar like 'caused by' and 'the happiness'.

content

Use easy and clear examples. Try to link each example to your point.

content

Good start with a clear idea that happiness can come from social life.

structure

Linking words like 'another' and 'in addition' help flow.

content

The writing gives real examples like parties and family times.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

461 words

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Some people believe that happiness mainly comes from external factors, while others think it is determined by internal factors.

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Write a letter to the building manager. In your latter, -describe the noisy behavior of your neighbor, -expain how it is affecting you, -suggest a solution to this problem.