IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

students should choose a university major that prepares them for a hig-paying job. To what extent do you agree with this satement?

The choice of
university
Use synonyms
 major helps
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to prepare them for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 salary.
This
Linking Words
 essay argues that
this
Linking Words
 statement is agreeable,
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 in terms of preparing for certain
expertise
Use synonyms
 and fulfilling demands in the
job
Use synonyms
market
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, the competition in
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
market
Use synonyms
 has been getting stricter, with so many graduates but too
little
Fix the agreement mistake
few
show examples
 vacancies available.
Hence
Linking Words
, employers naturally hire those who are actually capable in the field
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
diploma
Correct article usage
a diploma
show examples
 is one of the ways to determine the adequacy of the
job
Use synonyms
 seekers. If a work does not require certain
expertise
Use synonyms
 and
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
, it will not have a comparable salary as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment with a niche ability.
Moreover
Linking Words
, choosing the right major
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
university
Use synonyms
 will help
students
Use synonyms
 to fit themselves in its
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 to secure a high-paying
job
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 some
university
Use synonyms
 courses do not seem to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good prospects,
students
Use synonyms
 need to forecast the future
job
Use synonyms
market
Use synonyms
 when picking a major.
For instance
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 major like food technology is not widely
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
,
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 future demand in
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
market
Use synonyms
 is promising. By choosing
this
Linking Words
 kind of major with low interest,
students
Use synonyms
 will delve into a
job
Use synonyms
market
Use synonyms
 with less strict competition.
As a result
Linking Words
, employers will offer a higher salary
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of human
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 with the needed
expertise
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, a high-paying
job
Use synonyms
 is achievable with a correct strategy of choosing
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 major.
Students
Use synonyms
 will be able to fit themselves
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a strict qualification in the
job
Use synonyms
market
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 fulfilling
demands
Correct article usage
the demands
show examples
 of special
expertise
Use synonyms
. Ultimately, despite aiming for highly paid jobs,
students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 need to consider their passion in the industry that they want to work in, to ensure the sustainability and the suitability of their employment in the future.

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task response
Be clear on your view at the start. Say you agree, and keep to this view in the whole essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea. Use simple steps like point - explain - connect to next part.
content
Try to add more small facts or real proof to back your points.
grammar
Check your spelling and grammar so the meaning is easy to read.
task response
Your stand on the topic is clear.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words to show order.
content
You give an actual example, like food technology, to back your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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