In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#era #information #computers #companies #organizations

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The relationship between privacy and technological advancement has received a great amount of attention worldwide in the

last

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20 years. In the contemporary era, many organizations and companies have kept private

information

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computers

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or online.

This

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essay will elaborate on the significance of

this

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notion. On the one hand, keeping

information

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computers

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has many positive impacts.

In other words

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, if companies store data on

computers

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, not only can they manage their staff

information

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efficiently but they

also

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can save time in order to find desired

information

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in documents at the office and access

information

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quickly.

However

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, it should not be forgotten that almost all organizations have an online database for their customer's

information

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and

this

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way of keeping

information

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lead

Fix the agreement mistake

leads

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to improved customer service.

For example

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, when you go to the hospital, bank and other government offices they access your

information

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and solve your problem

due to

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the database of personal

information

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On the other hand

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, despite the fact that storing

information

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computers

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has many benefits for companies, there is

the

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concern related to protecting

information

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. To support

this

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statement there is a high risk of database breaches.

For instance

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, numerous research

have

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has

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consistently found that a significant amount of personal

information

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databases have been stolen on the dark web every day. The more maintaining of personal

information

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computers

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, the higher the level of risk of stealing

information

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from hackers and criminals.

To conclude

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also

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there is a high level of risk of misusing personal

information

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by keeping it on

computers

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. The benefits of them far outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sat Apr 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Remember to provide more specific examples to further illustrate your points. Adding real-world instances or statistics can strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Focus on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and make your essay more engaging. Experiment with complex sentences and a mix of simple and compound structures.

General

Double-check your essay for minor grammatical errors or typos to enhance its overall clarity and professionalism.

Structure

Well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Content

Effective use of comparison between the advantages and disadvantages of storing information on computers.

Task Response

Successful in addressing the prompt with a balanced view on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. good quality of life.

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?

Evidence suggests that there is a significant rise in the number of money-consumers having willing to use a credit card more than cash. Although some disadvantages are accruing to credit card usage, I believe that advantages outweigh the disadvantages.