In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The relationship between privacy and technological advancement has received a great amount of attention worldwide in the
last
20 years. In the contemporary era, many organizations and companies have kept private
information
on
computers
or online.
This
essay will elaborate on the significance of
this
notion. On the one hand, keeping
information
on
computers
has many positive impacts.
In other words
, if companies store data on
computers
, not only can they manage their staff
information
efficiently but they
also
can save time in order to find desired
information
in documents at the office and access
information
quickly.
However
, it should not be forgotten that almost all organizations have an online database for their customer's
information
and
this
way of keeping
information
lead
Fix the agreement mistake
leads
show examples
to improved customer service.
For example
, when you go to the hospital, bank and other government offices they access your
information
and solve your problem
due to
the database of personal
information
.
On the other hand
, despite the fact that storing
information
on
computers
has many benefits for companies, there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
concern related to protecting
information
. To support
this
statement there is a high risk of database breaches.
For instance
, numerous research
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
consistently found that a significant amount of personal
information
databases have been stolen on the dark web every day. The more maintaining of personal
information
on
computers
, the higher the level of risk of stealing
information
from hackers and criminals.
To conclude
,
also
there is a high level of risk of misusing personal
information
by keeping it on
computers
. The benefits of them far outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
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General
Double-check your essay for minor grammatical errors or typos to enhance its overall clarity and professionalism.
Structure
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Content
Effective use of comparison between the advantages and disadvantages of storing information on computers.
Task Response
Successful in addressing the prompt with a balanced view on the topic.

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