IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that success in life mainly depends on hard work, while others think that luck plays a more important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There has been considerable discussion regarding individual
success
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 in
life
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, which has divided people into two main groups. One group of people believes that
success
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 in
life
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 depends strictly on hard
work
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,
whereas
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 others argue that personal
luck
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 plays a dominant role.
This
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 essay will discuss and observe both perspectives
,
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apply
show examples
 before giving my own opinion. The supporters of hard
work
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 theory
,
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apply
show examples
says
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say
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 that individuals who have acquired real working habits
,
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apply
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 are more likely to reach
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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success
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apply
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level in
life
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. They
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
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 that with hard
work
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, dedication and commitment, every worker can make significant
achivement
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achievements
 in
personal
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their personal
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 career.
Moreover
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, they believe in the theory of consistency. Well explained, that means individuals who put a lot of effort throughout
life
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, stand still after every obstаcles, are loyal and hardworking, their path
undoubtably
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undoubtedly
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 leads toward inevitable
success
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.
On the other hand
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, the second group of people
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, oppositely
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oppositely
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oppositely,
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 believes that
success
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 ultimately
depands
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depends
 on personal
luck
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 and the family status in society. They explain that
although
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 the individual is
hardworking
Correct article usage
a hardworking
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 person, without
luck
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, his
success
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 is not guaranteed.
Furthermore
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, they add that it is more certain that an individual born and raised in a wealthy and respectable family
,
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apply
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 will reach
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
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success
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apply
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level in
life
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 with ease. In my opinion,
although
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 personal
luck
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 plays а certain role, commitment, dedication, hard
work
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 and loyalty are
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 reliable abilities of an individual, which can ensure a guaranteed path to goal achievement. In conclusion, both perspectives presented valid arguments.
However
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, I strongly believe that a huge effort and hard
work
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 are crucial in our careers, and we cannot rely on our personal
luck
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 on the journey towards
success
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.

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overall
Plan the essay. Say both sides and your view in a simple order. Make each idea in one paragraph.
grammar
Use clear sentences and avoid long, mixed ideas. Check spelling of key words.
vocabulary
Give one or two clear examples to back a point; keep examples simple and real.
content
The writer states a clear view.
structure
The writer shows both sides.
content
There is a sense of step by step thought.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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