IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the amount of time spend on sports and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight childer ? do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? what other solutions can you suggest

Some companies believe that experience has as much value as a bachelor’s degree.
Although
Linking Words
 a college degree can often lead to a high-level position directly, some top jobs are
also
Linking Words
 available to regular
associates
Use synonyms
. I believe that experience is a positive quality for employers because it demonstrates skills and competencies in the real workplace.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine why it is taking the place of the traditional way to get strong jobs and salaries. Nowadays, employers are providing training to regular
associates
Use synonyms
 in skills that are needed for their positions.
This
Linking Words
 activity allows employees to climb the ranks.
Therefore
Linking Words
, qualified jobs in the companies are represented by
associates
Use synonyms
 who were trained. It has been an opportunity for people who have a low budget for tuition to
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 a college.
Mostly
Punctuation problem
Mostly,
show examples
 young people choose companies that offer training to their
associates
Use synonyms
. They consider it a way to get a high salary and avoid expensive school debts. If the government gives free education or tuition, more students would consider getting a
collegue
Correct your spelling
college
 degree.

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task response
The answer has a clear view but you should show more of the idea in your own words and add one or two clear reasons with simple facts or small details.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraph links can be clearer. Start with a strong topic sentence, then add a few connected ideas in order. Use linking words like first, also, because, so, therefore.
strength
The essay shows a clear view that experience is valued by some employers.
strength
There is some logical flow from training to career progress.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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