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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What coulbe be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In
modren
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modern
society
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society,
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 many
indiviuals
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individuals
 prefer to work for themself
instead
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 of having a job in a company.
This
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 trend can be explained by several reasons,
although
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 being self-employed
also
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 has notable disadvantages. One main reason is the desire for independence. Self-employed individuals have more control over their working hours, workload, and the type of work they do.
This
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 flexibility allows
people
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 to achieve a better work–life balance and to organise their time
according to
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 personal needs.
In addition
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,
self-employment
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 can be financially attractive.
People
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 are able to keep the profits they earn and may have opportunities to increase their income based on effort and skill, rather than receiving a fixed salary. Another reason is the growth of technology and the internet. Online platforms make it easier to start a business, work as a freelancer, or offer services globally with relatively low start-up costs.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 choose
self-employment
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 because they feel limited by corporate structures or lack job satisfaction in traditional workplaces, motivating them to create their own career paths.
However
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, being self-employed
also
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 comes with significant disadvantages. One major drawback is financial insecurity. Unlike employees, self-employed workers often do not have a stable income, paid holidays, or sick leave.
This
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 uncertainty can be stressful, especially during periods of low demand.
Additionally
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, self-employed individuals must handle all aspects of their business,
such
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 as taxes, administration, and marketing, which can be time-consuming and challenging. In conclusion,
people
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 choose
self-employment
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 mainly for freedom, flexibility, and potential financial rewards.
Nevertheless
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, the lack of stability, benefits, and support means that
self-employment
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 is not suitable for everyone.

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improvement
Add a real example or number to back up a claim.
structure
Make each idea in its own paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas are connected.
structure
Conclude with a strong restatement of your view and a small summary.
task
The essay answers the task well and sticks to the topic.
structure
Clear order of ideas: reasons, tech, downsides, and conclusion.
coherence
Good use of linking words such as 'However', 'Furthermore'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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