IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people?

In today's world,
celebrity's
Correct article usage
a celebrity's
show examples
personality
Use synonyms
 is copied by both
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 and
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 generation
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV and newspaper information. First and foremost, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 found that some celebrities are really rich and incredibly famous. Now, humans are copying their personalities in order to be as popular as their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 idols.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend could create some negative results. Imitating
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others may lead to
vanish
Verb problem
the loss of one's
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's own
personality
Use synonyms
. They could lose their own ideas, purposes of their lives, and become aimless. It is even more dangerous when it comes to
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation, especially
they
Correct word choice
since they
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 always search for new discoveries and trends.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, advertising in mass media subtly
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's minds and
compelling
Wrong verb form
compels
show examples
 them to copy celebrities,
such
Linking Words
 as their style of dressing, and
people
Use synonyms
 are wasting a huge amount of money in order to be like their ideals. They are buying brand new clothes, perfumes, and accessories and
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
knowing
Wrong verb form
know that
show examples
 these things cannot make them famous easily. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
 think that copying
celebrity's
Correct article usage
a celebrity's
show examples
personality
Use synonyms
 can be a great way to reach success or be rich or famous.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 trend
only can
Correct word order
can only
show examples
 create negative consequences, like losing
Use synonyms
people's
Check wording
their
show examples
 own
personality
Use synonyms
, being aimless
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their lives,

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task response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep it as your main line through the essay.
structure
Plan your writing: have an intro, 2 or 3 body para, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Use linking words well to show how your ideas go with each other.
grammar
Check your grammar and spelling; fix errors like apostrophes and plural forms.
examples
Give more specific examples to back up each point.
structure
You use signpost words such as First, Furthermore, and In conclusion.
content
You show a clear stance that copying celebs can have bad results.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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