IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Every year an increasing number of students choose to go to another country for their higher education. Do you think the benefits of this development outweigh the problems associated with it?

There is an issue that many students prepare to go to another country to continue their
education
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,
such
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 as doctoral and master's degrees. Those trends would affect society and the local university. I would discuss it in detail. Many graduates from the country are moving to other developed
countries
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,
such
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 as the United States, to study high
technology
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 that local
universities
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 cannot provide. They can bring the
technology
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 back to their mother country when they have accomplished the academic requirements. The skills they learnt from developed
countries
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 can bolster local
technology
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, which can help local people live more easily.
For example
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, students who are studying artificial intelligence (AI) in developed
countries
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 bring the advanced
technology
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 back to China. They set up a company to innovate AI
technology
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 in agriculture. All plantations,
such
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 as watering and seeding, are set up automatically.
As a result
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, crop harvest is becoming more efficient than before. People can live on more crops and food.
However
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, local
universities
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 may face lower enrollment records
due to
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 more graduates leaving their own
countries
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 to seek higher
education
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.
Therefore
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, Income for the local college would become less
due to
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 the low enrollment rate. Local
universities
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 cannot have the capital to support their campus development,
such
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 as increasing classroom space and hiring renowned professors. That would lead to a decline in the
education
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 level at the local university. I think the benefits of studying abroad for higher
education
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 would help the
countries
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' development, especially for developing
countries
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such
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 as China, Malaysia, and India. The county's economy can be bolstered
due to
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 the advanced
technology
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 that the graduate learnt. I
also
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 think that the local
universities
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 can overcome the lower enrollment rate in doctoral students. The government can
subsidize
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subsidise
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universities
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 to recruit overseas returnees.
Finally
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, I think the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh the problems associated with it.

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organization
Make a quick plan before you write. Use one idea in each paragraph. Start with a short intro and end with a short conclusion.
development
Give more facts or real examples to add weight to your points.
linking
Use simple link words like and, but, so, also to show how ideas go together.
grammar
Check grammar. Some sentences are long. Use short, clear lines.
planning
State your main view in the first line of the essay so the reader knows your stance.
strength
The essay has a clear topic and plan.
strength
There are good examples that show how ideas can help the country.
strength
The writer argues that studying abroad can aid the nation’s growth.
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