IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 wor

Nowadays, when compared to the past, there has been a significant increase in the number of people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 opting for
tourism
Use synonyms
 in order to visit different places.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend offers numerous benefits in terms of increased access to facilities and protecting traditional culture, it
also
Linking Words
 brings its drawbacks,
such
Linking Words
 as pollution
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and deforestation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the merits and demerits before reaching a conclusion.  On the one hand, one of the main advantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend is that communities gain greater access to facilities.
This
Linking Words
 means that
tourism
Use synonyms
 revenue funds better roads, upgraded
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
show examples
 and reliable public transport, which
does
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not only
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 visitors, but
also
Linking Words
 connects communities to get improved access to facilities. Another advantage is that
such
Linking Words
 revenue can be used to fund conservation projects to protect the irreplaceable sites for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations.
For example
Linking Words
, officials in Peru recently started a conservation project to protect the history of Machu
Picchi
Use the right word
Picchu
show examples
 using the income generated by the
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the major disadvantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is that it causes environmental impacts
such
Linking Words
 as pollution
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and deforestation.
Due to
Linking Words
 the influx of visitors, many destination countries have problems controlling the pollution, as people litter
everywhere
Punctuation problem
everywhere,
show examples
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant damage to land and water. Another disadvantage is that forests are destroyed to construct hotels
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and restaurants to make it appeal to
foreigners
Punctuation problem
foreigners,
show examples
causes
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
 deforestation,
while
Linking Words
 impacting the local habitats.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study revealed that an average of 20% of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues are caused by
travel
Correct article usage
the travel
show examples
 and
tourism
Use synonyms
 industries. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 people believe that travelling has become easy to visit different places
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples

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task response
In the intro, state your view clearly and give a plan of what you will discuss.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea that links to the next with simple link words.
structure
Watch for long sentences. Short, clear sentences are easier to read.
grammar
Check grammar: say 'people who are opting' not 'who is opting'.
lexical
Fix facts and spelling: Machu Picchu, avoid extra marks; explain the 20% figure more clearly.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides.
content
Examples are used to support points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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