IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

it is important for every one, including young people, to save money for future. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It is essential for
people
Use synonyms
, specifically younger generations
to
Punctuation problem
, to
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 save more
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their future. In my opinion, I agree that saving
money
Use synonyms
 can lead to
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
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 in consumerism.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, putting aside
money
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 reduces consumer culture.
In other words
Linking Words
, materialistic societies are on the increase, populations
Punctuation problem
, specially
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specially
Use the right word
especially
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 in developed countries, are often buying unnecessary things, and
this
Linking Words
 situation creates more waste, and
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 more natural resources
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 if
people
Use synonyms
 take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more responsibility for their
money
Use synonyms
 and save it more,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumerism will be reduced
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 will not be damaged. Another point to consider is that, great amount of saved
money
Use synonyms
 can benefit bigger purposes. To
further
Linking Words
 clarify, each person has various Goals in life
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as a better car, bigger housing,
broaden
Replace the word
broader
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 properties
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 so on
Punctuation problem
, wile
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wile
Use the right word
while
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 these require
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 amount of
money
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it can be impossible for many
people
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 to achieve their goals without
economizing
Change the spelling
economising
show examples
 and
set
Wrong verb form
setting
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 aside
money
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, little by little
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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 can afford to purchase what they want with the help of saving
money
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, saving
money
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cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
 reducing stress and mental wellbeing. To make it clear, humans face unexpected problems
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and events which create
money
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 pressure for them.
as
Fix capitalization
As
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 an example, a car accident can bring
money
Use synonyms
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
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 to the car owner for
repairing
Replace the word
repairs
show examples
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be a
reason
Check wording
source
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 of stress and more pressure
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 saving
money
Use synonyms
 provides financial security to prevent these sudden accidents and reduce the burden.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will continue their lives with greater peace of mind. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 I agree that
people
Use synonyms
 can take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of saving
money
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 decreasing consumer culture.

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structure
Use clear topic sentences to show each idea in order.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling to avoid errors that hide meaning.
examples
Try to give one clear example for each point.
structure
Clear position and easy to read signposts.
content
Many ideas set in different parts of the essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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