IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Everyone should be required to stay in school til age of 18 . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some
people
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 believe that everyone should be required to stay in school until the age of 18. I largely agree with
this
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 view,
although
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 there are a few exceptions that should be considered. On the one hand, staying in school until 18 provides young
people
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 with important knowledge and
skills
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.
Education
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 helps
students
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 develop basic abilities
such
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 as reading, writing, problem-solving, and critical thinking. These
skills
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 are essential for most jobs in today’s competitive job market.
In addition
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, schools teach social
skills
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, discipline, and responsibility, which help
students
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 become better citizens. If
students
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 leave school too early, they may struggle to find stable employment and could face financial difficulties in the future.
On the other hand
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, not all
students
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 learn best in a traditional classroom environment. Some young
people
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 are more practical and may benefit more from vocational training, apprenticeships, or work-based learning. Forcing these
students
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 to remain in academic
education
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 could lead to frustration, poor performance, and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of motivation.
Therefore
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, flexibility is important so that
students
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 can choose alternative pathways
while
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 still receiving proper
education
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 or training. In my opinion,
education
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 should be compulsory until the age of 18, but it should not be limited to only academic schooling. Governments should offer different options
such
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 as vocational courses, technical training, and apprenticeships.
This
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 approach ensures that all young
people
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 gain useful
skills
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while
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 respecting their interests and abilities. In conclusion, I agree to a large extent that staying in
education
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 until 18 is important, provided that flexible learning pathways are available.

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Task Response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep your main idea in mind in each paragraph.
Task Response
Add one or two real examples to back up your main ideas for more strength.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link ideas well from sentence to sentence and from one part to the next with clear words like also, but, for example, therefore.
Strength
The essay shows a clear view and a good layout with intro, body and conclusion.
Strength
Use of sign posts such as 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion' helps the flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • should
  • stay
  • in
  • school
  • till
  • age
  • 18
  • agree
  • disagree
  • time
  • learn
  • work
  • good
  • bad
  • people
  • family
  • health
  • law
  • rule
  • what
  • this
  • there
  • their
  • when
  • how
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