Nowadays,young generation follows famous people on social media. is it positive or negative development ?

Currently,
Majority
Correct article usage
the Majority
show examples
of
juvenils
Correct your spelling
juveniles
Verb problem
are obssesed
show examples
obssesed
Correct your spelling
obsessed
with
well-known
Correct article usage
the well-known
show examples
celebritie's
Check wording
celebrities'
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.They consistently inform themselves about changes that
happened
Verb problem
have happened
show examples
in famous
people
Use synonyms
life
Check wording
apply
show examples
by watching social networking platforms. That
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
pros and cons
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
I will break
down it
Correct word order
it down
show examples
below.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by following famous
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
the person may
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
misleading
consept
Correct your spelling
concepts
like feeling demotivated or demoralised with wondering
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why they are not in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
position.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
they do not catch that
people
Use synonyms
with high status don't
coincidencely
Correct your spelling
coincidentally
become like
this
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, football icon Ronaldo.
he
Fix capitalization
He
show examples
has inspired youngsters with his mindset and
unstop
Replace the word
unstoppable
show examples
hardworking ability by recreating the view that each of them might
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gain status like him.
However
Linking Words
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
starting
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
career as a footballer can
ending
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
with failure
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of knowledge about that sphere. Following famous
people
Use synonyms
on social media can bring several positive developments.
Linking Words
Firstly
Punctuation problem
Firstly,
show examples
it
canbe
Correct your spelling
can be
a strong source of motivation, as many celebrities share their
achievments
Correct your spelling
achievements
, struggles, and daily
routins
Correct your spelling
routines
, which encourage
people
Use synonyms
to
wor
Use the right word
work
show examples
harder
towartd
Correct your spelling
towards
their own goals.
Linking Words
Secondly
Punctuation problem
Secondly,
show examples
some well-known
provide
Check wording
providers provide
show examples
educational content and practical
advices
Correct your spelling
advice
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
In
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
famous
people
Use synonyms
often raise awareness about social and global issues
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as charity. In
conclusion
Punctuation problem
conclusion,
show examples
following famous
people
Use synonyms
can be beneficial if done wisely,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
enhancing
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
mindset strongly and
believe
Wrong verb form
believing
show examples
that they will accomplish
thier achievments
Correct your spelling
their achievements
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear about your view. Start with one simple line that states if you think it is good or bad. Then give one or two reasons.
coherence
Use small linking words like but, also, and for example to join ideas. Make a small plan: intro, one idea for and against, and a short end.
coherence
Add one or two real examples that fit your point to make the writing stronger.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion in the essay.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides and gives some ideas.
content
A clear example (Ronaldo) is used to show motivation.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: