IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people's standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, from my point of view, the high standard in
life
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
does not
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 necessarily reflect the real happiness in real
life
Use synonyms
. We believed that as soon as we give a good position in the standard in our
life
Use synonyms
 , we can do anything, but in the end,
this
Linking Words
 is not really true. For that
reason
Punctuation problem
reason,
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 I
not
Verb problem
do not
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 agree. First all, I would you like that the main proposal in our
life
Use synonyms
 is to get successful and after marriage, have children , buy a new home , a luxury car and travel as soon as we get
this
Linking Words
 , we believed that have very security from all family,
however
Linking Words
 with the time is running, and pass the year, we saw that we are not happiness , start to feel depress and sad , we though that we are evrething , but in the end is only money, nothing else.
Second,
Linking Words
I
like
Verb problem
would like
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 to mention that in our
society
Punctuation problem
society,
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 all the time
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 our
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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parent
Punctuation problem
parent,
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 we
Verb problem
are pusing
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pusing
Correct your spelling
pushing
all of
life
Use synonyms
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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doing
this
Linking Words
 to
get
Verb problem
be
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 successful in
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
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Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
nevertheless
Punctuation problem
nevertheless,
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that is
Linking Words
 only material , not feeling , no
emotional
Replace the word
emotion
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 for something,
is
Use the right word
it's
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 all about
Verb problem
being interesting
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interesting
Replace the word
interested
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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material
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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.
That is
Linking Words
nos
Use the right word
not
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 the real
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
. In summary,
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 very
controversely
Correct your spelling
controversial
 in some cases, because still people who think in that way. The successful and the standard of
life
Use synonyms
 depend
of
Change preposition
on
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 the material
o
Change preposition
apply
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possessions that you have.
That is
Linking Words
 the reason in
this
Linking Words
 essay I explain the major
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 for you
Verb problem
to tray
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tray
Use the right word
try
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 to get successful and
the
Change preposition
at the
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 same time try to be happy.

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Structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short idea that you will agree or disagree. Then add two or three reasons. Finish with a short end that restates your view.
Coherence-Organization
Use one idea per paragraph. Put a clear topic sentence in each paragraph. Keep a simple link to the next sentence.
Grammar
Check tense and verb form. Use 'is', 'are', 'was', 'were' in the right place. Watch subject and verb at the end of sentences.
Vocabulary
Use only common words. Do not use long or hard words. This keeps your writing easy to read.
Content
Add a real example or small detail to back each idea. Even a short, clear example can make your point strong.
strength
You give a clear view that modern life can fail to make people happy.
strength
You show two ideas that link money and happiness.
strength
You end with a short summary.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • fast-paced environment
  • stress levels
  • anxiety
  • social disconnection
  • face-to-face interactions
  • loneliness
  • materialism
  • consumerism
  • temporary satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • unhealthy habits
  • physical and mental health
  • environmental degradation
  • disparities
  • social justice
  • income inequality
  • disadvantaged
  • healthcare advancements
What to do next:
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