IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that eating places should make public the recipes of their meals that they cook, as it
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 customers
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 know
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 they
use
Use synonyms
 and increases the
reputation
Use synonyms
 of
restaurant
Correct article usage
the restaurant
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public recipes
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
 both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that the benefits generally outweigh the drawbacks. One
significiant
Correct your spelling
significant
 reason restaurants should reveal their
presciption
Correct your spelling
prescription
 is
some
Correct word choice
that some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can have
allergy
Correct article usage
an allergy
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 specific products.
This
Linking Words
 can help visitors to carefully choose their dish or ask to put away
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 product. Allergy
mostly
Verb problem
is mostly
show examples
 caused by nuts, milk, fish products and eggs.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
 condition of
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 health and ruin the
reputation
Use synonyms
 of
establishment
Correct article usage
the establishment
show examples
. The administration and
chef
Correct article usage
the chef
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
show examples
 to warn about the
productions
Replace the word
products
show examples
 that they
use
Use synonyms
. Another key advantage is that
increases
Correct pronoun usage
it increases
show examples
 the
reputation
Use synonyms
 of
restaurant
Correct article usage
the restaurant
show examples
, since it chance for them to show that they
use
Use synonyms
 fresh ingredients.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it increases
confidence
Correct article usage
the confidence
show examples
 of visitors and helps to develop the quality of their cuisine. It
especially
Verb problem
is especially
show examples
 important for
people
Use synonyms
 who think about their health and lifestyle. 
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 potential drawbacks to consider. One
significiant
Correct your spelling
significant
 concern is that
people
Use synonyms
 can prepare dishes at home. Because the restaurants disclose the nutritional information,
people
Use synonyms
 will try to cook it at home, which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decreases the profit.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will
easy
Verb problem
be easy
show examples
&nbsp
Use synonyms
;for competitors to steal the
receipt
Use the right word
recipe
show examples
.
Opponets
Correct your spelling
Opponents
 can
use
Use synonyms
reveal
Wrong verb form
revealed
show examples
 information to copy receipts.
As a result
Linking Words
, restaurant
loose
Use the right word
lose
show examples
 their clients and originality of food.  In conclusion, even though revealing nutritional information can cause
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 the clients and steal receipts, I personally think that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
confidence
Correct article usage
the confidence
show examples
 of clients and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 the
reputation
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, outweight
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. 

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accuracy
Spell the words right and use clear, simple words.
organization
Put one main idea in each paragraph and start with a clear sentence about that idea.
content
Give a clear example for each idea so a reader sees proof.
task achievement
End with a clear view and keep it short.
coherence
Link ideas with good connect words so the flow is smooth.
task response
The essay shows a real call to both sides of the issue.
structure
The essay has an intro, some body parts, and a end.
content
The topic of health and own life is linked to the idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutritional information
  • Calorie count
  • Public health
  • Informed choices
  • Accountability
  • Dietary requirements
  • Logistics
  • Analyzing
  • Unhealthy ingredients
  • Consumer
  • Health outcomes
  • Gluten-free
  • Overemphasis
  • Comprehensive understanding
  • Dining experience
  • Clinical experience
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