IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

There is a worrying situation within the field of education worldwide. Only a few learners are studying scientific subjects
due to
Linking Words
 the difficult enrollment requirements. Sadly,
this
Linking Words
 means a significant number of graduates fall into the business and social
science
Use synonyms
 categories, which limits scientific innovation in society.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss these issues below. On the one hand, the low uptake of courses
such
Linking Words
 as medicine, information technology and physics in educational institutions results from the cumbersome eligibility criteria for new students.
For instance
Linking Words
, certain universities worldwide only accept distinction grades or set difficult entrance tests for prospective
science
Use synonyms
 learners.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 move is aimed at recruiting top candidates, it significantly limits entrance for many individuals with high potential who do not hold
such
Linking Words
 qualifications.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 admission strategy leads to
such
Linking Words
 institutions only graduating a few people who can effectively serve as scientists in society. With fewer people working as scientists, there is a danger of scientific innovation being lowered.
Likewise
Linking Words
, countries may end up missing out on innovative developments that could have helped eliminate some of the world's pressing challenges. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
, many developed nations,
such
Linking Words
 as Australia, continue to struggle with managing public health issues in rural places.
This
Linking Words
 is because many health experts are choosing to work in the cities, leaving remote areas short-staffed and unable to respond adequately to issues. In conclusion, not enough students are choosing to study
science
Use synonyms
 as a subject because registering to learn
such
Linking Words
 courses is demanding.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon leads to a short supply of
science
Use synonyms
 graduates to the economy, which in turn limits the ability of a nation to harness its scientific potential for solving different social and economic problems.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
The essay has a good base idea and clear view. To raise the score, add more proof or facts to back what you say and make your view more full.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence and end with a quick link to the next paragraph. Use simple joining words to keep flow.
task
Use more examples or real data to show how lack of science study affects people, not just colleges. Money or health or tech gaps are good points to add.
structure
Plan a clear form: short intro, two body parts (causes and effects), short conclusion. Each part should have one main idea.
language
Check sentence shape to avoid long, hard to read lines. Keep the language simple and precise.
structure
Clear outline with a basic cause and effect idea.
coherence
Use of linking phrases ('On the one hand', 'On the other hand') to connect ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
What to do next:
Look at other essays: