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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitude are important. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that educational
success
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 is mainly determined by the quality of
teachers
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,
whereas
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 others believe that
students
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’
attitudes
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 play a more significant role.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and argue that
although
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 effective teaching is essential,
students
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’
attitudes
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 are ultimately more decisive in achieving academic
success
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. On the one hand, good
teachers
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 are fundamental to educational achievement. Skilled educators not only possess strong subject knowledge but
also
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 use engaging teaching methods that help
students
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 understand complex concepts.
For instance
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, a dedicated teacher who adapts lessons to different learning styles can significantly improve
students
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’ academic performance, particularly in challenging subjects
such
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 as mathematics or science.
Moreover
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, supportive
teachers
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 can motivate learners, build their confidence, and create a positive classroom environment that encourages active participation.
On the other hand
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, many people believe that
students
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’
attitudes
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 are more important than teaching quality. Learners who are motivated, disciplined, and willing to take responsibility for their studies are more likely to succeed, even in less ideal learning environments.
For example
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,
students
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 with a strong work ethic often seek additional resources, practise consistently, and ask questions when they face difficulties.
In contrast
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,
students
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 who lack interest or commitment may fail to benefit fully from even the best
teachers
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, as learning ultimately requires effort and engagement from the learner. In my opinion,
while
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 good
teachers
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 play a crucial supporting role,
students
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’
attitudes
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 have a greater long-term impact on educational
success
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.
Teachers
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 can guide and inspire
students
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, but without a positive mindset and personal effort, academic progress is limited.
Conversely
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, motivated
students
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 can overcome teaching limitations and achieve
success
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 through persistence and self-directed learning. In conclusion,
although
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 high-quality
teachers
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 contribute significantly to educational outcomes,
students
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’
attitudes
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 are the key factor in determining
success
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. A combination of effective teaching and positive learner
attitudes
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 is ideal, but it is the student’s commitment that ultimately drives achievement.

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strength
You give a clear view on both sides and a final opinion. This is a strong start.
improvement
Link ideas with more simple sign posts (for example, 'first', 'also', 'in addition', 'however') to show clear flow.
improvement
Add one or two real examples or facts to back up a point, to make it stronger.
improvement
Work on word choice. Use easy, exact words and avoid long or fancy words.
improvement
Try to vary sentence length a bit more, but keep sentences simple and easy to read.
strength
Clear plan: you cover both views and state your own view in the end.
strength
Good structure: clear start, body paragraphs, and end.
strength
Examples support views in each paragraph.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational success
  • good teachers
  • students' attitude
  • structured guidance
  • complex subjects
  • experienced educators
  • teaching methodologies
  • motivate and inspire
  • engaging and effective
  • individual student needs
  • adapt their teaching style
  • improved educational outcomes
  • positive mindset
  • absorbing knowledge
  • curious and eager to learn
  • classroom discussions
  • additional resources
  • positive attitude
  • perseverance
  • academic challenges
  • optimal learning environment
  • synergy
  • dedicated teachers
  • motivated students
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