IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below compare 2 floor plans of one trade conference held in 2009 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps provide information on what alterations were made to the
floor
Use synonyms
 plans of the trade conference in two different years
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 2009 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
floor
Use synonyms
 plan was significantly reorganised over the period, with major changes made to the lower section,
while
Linking Words
 the entrance
area
Use synonyms
 remained largely unchanged. Over the one-year
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 several noticeable modifications to the
floor
Use synonyms
 plans were made. The concert hall
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with the
stage
Punctuation problem
stage,
show examples
 was relocated in 2010 to the right side of the
floor
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the size of the concert hall itself
was
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 significantly reduced since 2009. The meeting room and display
area
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 no longer presented on the 2010
floor
Use synonyms
 plan. The number of seats was
also
Linking Words
 reduced and moved to the same
area
Use synonyms
 as the stage. The exhibition wing was increased and relocated to the left. A new facility was added a year later in 2010, offering participants refreshments,
while
Linking Words
 the registration desk was moved next to the stage
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010.
However
Linking Words
, no major changes have been made
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the entrance
area
Use synonyms
. Both entrances - main and the side one - remain unchanged on both plans,
as well as
Linking Words
 the balcony hasn't changed its location but has gained a new additional lounge
area
Use synonyms
 a year later.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words floor, area with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: