Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days, there is an ongoing debate regarding the possibilities of purchasing more
products
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and undergoing
beauty
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treatments
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in order to look young. In my opinion, it is a positive
trend
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, as it improves the younger generation's mental health and
overall
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confidence.
This
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essay will discuss my views in detail with relevant examples.
To begin
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with, purchasing more
products
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improves their emotional well-being.
This
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is mainly because some
people
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base their happiness on purchasing new
products
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to look young and beautiful, which increases their self-worth among their acquaintances.
Additionally
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, buying cosmetics helps to solve their psychological problems because it is the only way for many
people
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to feel content in their lives.
Therefore
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,
such
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a
trend
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enhances their emotional well-being in society.
For instance
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, a recent report showed that an average of 65% of
people
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prefer to buy make-up
products
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just to get a sense of satisfaction, even though they don't use them often.
Furthermore
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, investing in
beauty
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treatments
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such
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as fillers and surgeries enhances their self-confidence.
In other words
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,
due to
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advancements in the medical and
beauty
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industry, it is possible to change our shapes and figures to look more attractive.
Such
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treatments
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not only help to stay young, but
also
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increase their
overall
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confidence among friends and in society.
For example
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, many young actors and musicians use silicon transplants to enhance their physical
beauty
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in order to gain more followers. From my perspective, despite some drawbacks,
such
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a
trend
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is a positive development, which improves their emotional well-being and self-worth to keep up with the latest trends and stay positive in their lives. In conclusion,
although
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people
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have differing opinions on purchasing cosmetic items and undergoing
beauty
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treatments
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to look young, I believe that it is a positive
trend
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which increases their confidence and
overall
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mental health. In my opinion, it is a positive thing in
this
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modern society.

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task response
Explain both sides. Even if you say it is a good thing, say what could be bad about it too.
structure
Make your plan clear. Each paragraph should have one main idea. Start with a short sentence that states your view and end with a short sentence that repeats it.
evidence
Use facts or ideas that can be seen or known. If you use a fact or number, try to note where it comes from or say most people say so.
language
Use simple words. Check for small mistakes like 'to look young' and 'makeup' to keep clear meaning.
content
Be true to the facts. Do not say wrong things about real things.
strength
You show a clear view that beauty use can lift how people feel.
coherence
You use connectors to help the reader follow your idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • look younger
  • young
  • look
  • product
  • cream
  • pill
  • treatment
  • surgery
  • buy
  • cost
  • price
  • safe
  • danger
  • risk
  • health
  • doctor
  • rules
  • laws
  • advertising
  • pressure
  • body image
  • self-esteem
  • confidence
  • inequality
  • rich
  • poor
  • choice
  • decision
  • natural aging
  • accept aging
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