IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some unvierstities now offer their courses on the internet so that people can study online . Is this a positive or negative development ?

In recent years,
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
 online
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 in universities has become increasingly
relveant
Correct your spelling
relevant
. It brings some positive
development
Use synonyms
 for university
students
Use synonyms
, but
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
 accompanied by numerous
drawbacks
Use synonyms
. I believed that online
course
Use synonyms
 brings
negative
Correct word choice
significant negative
show examples
development
Use synonyms
siginficiantly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both the benefits and
drawbacks
Use synonyms
 of online
courses
Use synonyms
, and explain why I agree with
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 negative
development
Use synonyms
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, online
courses
Use synonyms
offering
Wrong verb form
offer
show examples
 a lot of benefits for
students
Use synonyms
. It
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 individuals who
busy
Verb problem
are busy
show examples
 with their studies save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 only had a few
time
Use synonyms
 for them to move to their next
course
Use synonyms
. It might take
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
 on transportation because the
course
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
at
Check wording
place at
show examples
 the other campus. If
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
offering
Wrong verb form
offers
show examples
 online
courses
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 community can save more
time
Use synonyms
 on study
instead
Linking Words
 of transport.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 brings a lot of
drawbacks
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 education. Using online
courses
Use synonyms
, student might lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
concentration during the class. Because
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 can not see them
face to face
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
, it will become harder
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 control the class's discipline
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some people might enter the online classroom but actually not sit in front of the device and listen to the
course
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the
qurentine
Correct your spelling
quarantine
, all
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 offer online
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 for education, but the results are not beneficial. Lots of
students
Use synonyms
 fail
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 exam because they learn nothing online. In conclusion, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that taking
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 online is a negative
development
Use synonyms
. It
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not help for the education because of
Use synonyms
students's
Check wording
students'
show examples
 lack of self-control and concentration.
Although
Linking Words
 it has some benefits, the
drawbacks
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
outweigh
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix grammar and spell errors. Make verbs agree with the subject.
vocabulary
Use easy, common words only. Check word choice and spellings.
structure
Try one idea in each paragraph. Start with a short topic sentence and end with a link to the next idea.
examples
Add one or two clear examples for each point and connect them to your view.
coherence
Use linking words like and, but, so to make flow between ideas.
conclusion
Finish with a short restate of your view in the last line.
stance
You show a clear view and keep to it in the piece.
structure
Intro, two body parts and a conclusion exist.
content
You mention both good and bad sides.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: