IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 public
consider
Correct subject-verb agreement
considers
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 that all
companies
Use synonyms
 have responsibilities to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, rather than merely earning
money
Use synonyms
. I am really
favour
Change preposition
in favour
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 of
this
Linking Words
 view that
Use synonyms
money making
Use the right word
money-making
show examples
 and social contribution are both vital for a company. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 point of view.
Companies
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
undoubtedly need
money
Use synonyms
 to ensure a sustainable running. A huge
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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 means the
successful
Replace the word
success
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 of a company.
In addition
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 they create enough profit, they may enhance their range,
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 more
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 and provide more
productions
Replace the word
products
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 or services to the public.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the more profit they have, the more tax the government receive, which means there are more
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 to support the improvement of society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, everyone has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 duty
for
Change preposition
to
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 our society,
weather
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whether
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 the individuals
and
Correct word choice
or
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 businesses. Various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 all play a role in
society-instruction
Use the right word
instruction
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they absorb numerous employees,
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
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 the issue of unemployment.
Secondly
Linking Words
, their productions or services can give the citizens
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 life, which
are
Verb problem
can
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 able
to
Verb problem
apply
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resolve other social problems.
For example
Linking Words
, recently a firm
product
Replace the word
produced
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 an AI wheel which can help the disabled to move independently.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some
companies
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 put advertisements on social
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
.
meanwhile
Fix capitalization
Meanwhile
show examples
, they will put some values in their commercials, not only to promote themselves, but
also
Linking Words
 to educate the public. Like a furniture advertisement: “No trade, no harm
.
Punctuation problem
,
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” which
in
Use the right word
is
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 order to reject the purchase and
sell
Replace the word
sale
show examples
 of the ivory. In conclusion, making
money
Use synonyms
 is important for businesses.
Linking Words
likewise
Fix capitalization
Likewise
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, the social responsibility is significant. The correct way is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to balance both. Only in
this
Linking Words
 way can
companies
Use synonyms
 keep getting better and better.

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task
Be clear about your view. Say if you agree with both sides or you lean to one side, and how far.
structure
Make a plan: intro, two body parts, then a short conclusion.
grammar
Fix big grammar so the sense is clear. Use simple, common words.
examples
Add more real life examples to show your point.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas well, like also, but, because, so.
grammar
Watch noun and verb form and plural in common use.
style
Be careful with new word; keep to easy word for exam.
content
The writer shows that money and social work can both be used.
idea
There is a good idea that firms can help others and not just make money.
example
There are examples like the AI wheel and the ivory ad.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
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