IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people invest in social applications. What is the state of the 4 main platforms of social media

The bar chart illustrates the
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price
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prices
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 of Facebook, Google, Apple, and Yahoo from 2011 to 2016.
Overall
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, Facebook’s
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price
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 experienced a gradual increase over the entire period.
In contrast
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, the
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price
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 of Yahoo experienced the opposite pattern, where it decreased steadily. Even though both companies started the period at nearly the same
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price
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, the
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 of Facebook exceeded Yahoo’s dramatically
at the end
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. In 2011, Facebook’s
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price
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 started at around 8000 and continued to grow steadily
reaching
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, reaching
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 almost 20,000 in 2016. In comparison, Yahoo’s
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 started at a
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 almost similar to Facebook’s, but it decreased consistently
recording
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, recording
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 approximately 3000 in 2016. Regarding the
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 of Apple
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, it started at just under 5000, before it recorded a sharp rise
at
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to
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 almost 35,000 in 2012. Moving to 2013, it experienced a dramatic drop to slightly above 5000. After that, the
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 fell
at
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to
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 almost 3000 in 2015, before it increased slightly
reaching
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, reaching
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 just over 5000 in 2016.
Furthermore
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, Google’s
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 maintained a constant
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 at almost 1000 over the six years.

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Task Response
Make a clear intro that states what the chart shows and what you will compare.
Coherence
Explain the main trend for each company in one smooth sentence per group.
Accuracy
Check the data points and use exact numbers from the chart.
Organisation
Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid long blocks of text.
Strength
The essay shows a clear overall rise for Facebook and a fall for Yahoo.
Strength
It gives some data points from several years.
Strength
There are good contrast words like 'in contrast'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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