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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the household composition in a North American country from 1970 and 2003.

The table gives information
compares
Wrong verb form
comparing
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proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
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 of families in North America between 1970 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of families for both Family
Household
Use synonyms
 and Non-Family
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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are
Verb problem
has
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 increased
the
Change preposition
over the
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 given period of
time
Use synonyms
, except Married Couple category in Family
Household
Use synonyms
. Rate of Married Couple in Family
Household
Use synonyms
 accounted for 61% in 1970 and declined to 41% in 2003
while
Linking Words
 rest of classes are grew up just 1% in the ultimate
time
Use synonyms
, but
this
Linking Words
 index was stood at in 9% for living fathers' with their child,
while
Linking Words
 kids who stayed with their mom undertook in 13%, on the other
this
Linking Words
 indicator was observed in 13% Other Member Sharing class. In terms of
Single
Correct article usage
the Single
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 category in
Non-Family
Correct article usage
the Non-Family
show examples
 class started
4
Change preposition
at 4
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% in the preliminary stage and climbed to 13%
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
time
Use synonyms
, but
this
Linking Words
 index outnumbered 3% in 2003 for Room Sharing and rose to 11% by the end of
time
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words household, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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