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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the main reasons why students chose a particular university in the UK, in 1997 and 2007

The two pie charts present information about the main driving factors of why learners selected a specific
university
Use synonyms
 in the UK in different periods of time in 1997 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who preferred to study because of suitable degree courses which were offered to them was dominant in both years,
while
Linking Words
 there were other
students
Use synonyms
 who showed similarity between the years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1997,
students
Use synonyms
 choosing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tertiary education because of the
good
Punctuation problem
good,
show examples
 suitable degree courses accounted for 35%. 21% of
students
Use synonyms
 took
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part in studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 considering the quality of the resources. There were 19 per cent of the learners who chose the particular academy for their own social activities.
Also
Linking Words
, fewer people chose the institutions based
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the quality of teaching. Only 10 per cent of
admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
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 considered the facilities of the educational places only because of the distance. In 2007, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 choosing to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a
university
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the fact
that
Change preposition
because
show examples
 it had suitable degree courses. The number of
students
Use synonyms
 selecting an institution for the reason of getting resources decreased slightly to 17% in 2007. Only 6% of learners stayed in
university
Use synonyms
 because of good sports and social interactions .
However
Linking Words
, the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who selected universities for quality of teaching and whether it close to their living area made up to 18% and 22% respectively.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words university, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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